I sat at the nicely decorated table and waited for the newly married couple to come out, seated around the circular table were a random assortment of complete strangers tapping each other on the shoulder every time they wanted someone to pass them the pickle tray, but other then hungry men vying for the last half sour pickle not much conversation was going on. At any other event, there would have been some small talk, maybe the classic conversations about weather to break the ice, or how nice of the job they did with the sanctuary to prepare it for the wedding, but in this case the silence was pervasive. I turned my attention to the appetizer that lay before, a piece of salmon on wilted spinach leaves with a side of some yellowish dressing, or was it sauce? No matter, I was hungry.
Then it started, I guess I may have been the most unassuming fellow at the table, or maybe because I was one of the only ones not pecking away text messages on my blackberry to fend of the awkward boredom. A hand was flung towards my direction with a first and last name, and the first question which always signals the direction the conversation will take, “where ya from?” Dropping my fork in a fluid motion and lifting my hand to meet his I said, “hey I’m Heshy from Albany” and I made sure to say New York a little loudly so he would understand it wasn’t an avenue in Brooklyn or a street in some other tightly packed Jewish Neighborhood.
I watched as the excitement in his face, turned to disappointment as he searched his brain for some people he may have known in Albany. He didn’t seem to have any, he was wondering what to do next, I had just ruined all of his Jewish Geography potential. What would he talk about with me now? Politics, food, weddings, even the weather- but you could see it in his face, he only wanted to find some connection and I am sure he had hundreds. I felt bad for him and I then mentioned that I had grown up in Manhattan on the Upper West Side, the frown on his face turned into a smile and like all Jewish Geography conversationalist he rattled off 20 names of people he knew one way or another that I knew as well. Each acknowledgement came with a knowing nod and a little tidbit about the person, positive or negative, or neutral facts like I went to yeshiva with him or his son teaches my cousin.
Jewish Geography takes many forms, most commonly it is used as a tool to start conversations and gain connections within the Jewish community. It is unique because it spans across every Jewish sect and local, whether you are a member of JTS or Satmar, you are likely to engage in this amazingly Jewish practice that always starts with the question “so where are you from?” and always ends with smiles of completeness as you speak of your mutual friends and find out that the person eating next to you is not going to smother you in kugel to make a fast getaway with your purse.
I am sure making connections through mutual friends and acquaintances is not unique to Judaism, but I am also sure that no other community can play it on such a large scale, that may be because we are scattered about the globe, but we have relatives and colleagues everywhere. Jewish Geography spans many divides, socioeconomic status, political affiliations, observance levels and location are never taken into affect. As anyone in the Jewish community will say, everyone knows everyone, and it’s true. Pick any Jew off the street and I guarantee you can find a connection.
You can see Jewish Geography played on line at the pizza store, in the synagogue during a long sermon by the Rabbi and in the middle of the street between two drivers stuck in traffic. It is played between little kids and old ladies in velour jumpsuits at your local JCC, it brings people together, and is one more way in which the Jewish community is united.
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{ 15 comments… read them below or add one }
You’ve been studying gemara with women, haven’t you? jk.
Some people tend to be really “dumb” about when it comes to Jewish geography.
If it isn’t NYC or Miami beach, you get either a blank stare or really stupid remark like “Oh you’re from Montreal…That’s Canada right? I once new a guy from Edmonton, maybe you know him?”. Never mind that Edmonton is a removed from Montreal, as North Dakota from NYC.
Being in yeshiva in the tri state area for a year, I can probably play Jewish geography with you. I spent Shabboses in Albany, Troy, Saratoga Springs, Delmar and Suny College near the cross gates mall (at the time the “Shabbos house” was run by Yoel Selliger, before Rabbi Rubin JR.). We used to shop at the price chopper over the Hudson River brdge at Renesslear (spelling?), near the old 1st street shull that was run by Rabbi Fruchter a’h at the time, I believe Rabbi Morrison took it over.
Unfortunately the Yeshiva only remained open for 2 seasons, looks like the “reject’s” parents figured out that other rejects would only influence their kids for the worse. However, a few of us did take advantage of some good learning, despite the other “distractions” that were allowed / ignored.
I hear ya, Phil. No offense to the NY/NJ crowd, but you suck at out-of-town geography.
Once upon a time, I was at an NCSY shabbaton on Long Island. A woman asked where I was from.
“Minneapolis,” I replied…. Silence.
Then the woman says with a laugh, “I’m sorry, where is that?”
“Minnesota.” Another long silence.
The woman says with a less comfortable laugh, “Ok, really…Where is that?”
“Kinda north of Chicago,” I tell her. More silence. And I just got the hell away from her at that point.
Anon I agree completely, I was reading about this bakery that closed in Binghamton the other day and the comments were insane.
Everyone was arguing about where exactly Binghamton was- its one of the top ten largest metro areas in NY state, and then someone finally mapquested it. Then they were all saying they should open up a kosher place there, not realizing that the community is mighty small.
NY metro Jews are very geo-centric, they think beyond Monsey the world drops off and then continues for a little bit near Monticello.
I one time met a shadchun that said the following. I had said I wanted to move west when I married, somewhere like Portland or Denver. Her response was something to the tune of – Oh is that near Miami?
JG is especially useful for socially challenged people such as myself, but it gets to be a bit pretentious, like when random people (Monsey store owners) ask for my name then proceed to ask if I’m so and so’s cousin or if my mother in law is ‘big’ with glasses (true story and no, she’s incredibly thin and has good eyesight). I mean, if you think about it, who are they to assume they know everybody even if they grew up outside their 5 block village?
You really understand the power of Jewish Geography when you hang out with some non-Jewish friends and take them to a kosher restaurant in a community in which you are well-connected. They begin to think you know everyone on the planet.
Brooklyn is the worst. People can’t believe you would move away and anything west of the Hudson is exotic. Many of these Brooklynites only have a vague understanding that religious practice has nothing to do with geography. I guess it is probably because they think that the shchina rests in Brooklyn
LMAO
“The shchina rests in Brooklyn.”
Love it!!!
Joke: A teacher asks a child to name the five boroughs.
The child answers: Williamsburg, Boro Park, Monsey, New Square and Flatbush.
Good one!!!
I have learnt through JG that I am apparently the only person who has never heard of this family in Antwerp with the same last name as mine.
At this point I actually do feel as though I know them, I have heard of them so oft.
KissMe
I have had the same thing happen to me but we somehow know each other now.
I know. I used to live in San Diego, and I’ve people ask me if I’ve known people from Los Angeles, a full three-hour drive away. One person even asked me if I knew Soandsostein from San Francisco. That’s like asking a New Yorker if they know someone in Maine!
Ah the classic ignorant east coast syndrom. Everyone out in the west knows each other.
Greeting fellow commenters of Frum Satire,
I am from Bryn Mawr, PA. Recently I went people watching in the most BRUTAL place on earth… Lakewood NJ. I am not really orthodox, I wear jeans and a t shirt with hebrew on it, occasionally I wear a knitten kippah my GF made me. When I arrived in Lakewood it seemed as if every other black (mad) hatter there needed to make me more religious than I currently am. As Stated in various FS article Jewish Geography is a common kiruv/frummy icebreaker. So this long bearded frummy comes up to me and says “Shalom Aleichem, I am Yosef … where are you from?”
Me : Bryn Mawr PA, we are right near Har Zion (one of the biggest conservative shuls in the philly vicinity)
Him : Where is Bryn Mawr? Is it near Baltimore?
Me : No
Him : Is it near Washington?
Me : No it is near PHiladelphia, home of the Phillies
Him : OH I know Shayah … from the NE (This is where all the ultra orthodox reside due to the cheap housing methinks)
Me : Umm Sir, I live far away from the NE
Him : Oh do you live near the PHilly Yeshivah in overbrook?
Me : No I live on the mainline (which actually has many jews both orthodox and none orthodox)
Him : Well, how many Erlicheh Yidden do they have in Bryn Mawr?
Me : I don’t know I am an anti social person who is in a relationship with a hiloni israeli girl who I met in line at Chipotle
Him : (Feeling really confused, shuffles away from me. Kiruv mission failed. I guess now I am not going to be invited to lakewood for a shabbat)