Comments on: Would you attend a wedding between a Jew and Non-Jew?

By: Baruch

Baruch — Wed, 20 Jan 2010 21:46:50 +0000

I’m in the same boat, and am reaching out to some modern orthadox rabbi’s in the new york area. I will let you know if I have any luck with this.

By: Baruch

Baruch — Wed, 20 Jan 2010 15:02:06 +0000

When the holy temple was destroyed the Rabbi’s began to formalize much of what we think of as Halacha to deal with the exile. Think about the first generation after the temple sitting around having a Pessach Seder. The older generation who witnessed Pessach at the temple in its glory would probably have had the same abhorred reaction to a mincha service as you are having to this person marrying a non-jew. They would say that you are not real Jews and you are not even practicing Judaism.

The point is that Judaism has evolved over time and continues to evolve. No single rabbi or opinion is truth. Only Hashem is truth and no one knows what Hashem wants, and if you say you know than you are a false prophet. Anger, Fear, Depression are all the tools of the Yetza Hara, and indicative of a Ghetto mentality.

We are not in the Ghetto, and just as with the destruction of the Temple, we are facing a turning point in the exile. Non-jews for the first time in history want to marry and are accepting and loving of Jews. It’s important to love all Jews, and non Jews as well. It was the Zelots that brought the destruction because of their Ghetto mentality and fear. Don’t make the same mistake.

This poor girl found someone she loves and can be light to the world without being furm, and should have the support of her parents, friends and fellow Jews. We will not rebuild the temple through fear of the other, only through self reflection and fear of Hashem. We all have our own road to take, and only Hashem knows what is right for each of us.

I have nothing but Love for all of you.

By: HMMM

HMMM — Wed, 22 Apr 2009 03:50:17 +0000

I’m looking for a heter to go to my brother’s marriage to a non-Jewish girl. Any suggestions?

By: Rishona

Rishona — Thu, 25 Dec 2008 19:51:49 +0000

Ok, whoever brought up the issue about race; why is that even being brought up? Maybe it’s a latent concern of that person — because I really don’t see how it applies to intermarriage at all. A Jew is a Jew is a Jew. Concerns over what race a Jew is are unfounded. If they live their life in accordance to Torah, that should be your main concern.

I wish AE much happiness with her husband to be. I pray that her future children (G-d willing) will not have a tainted view of Judaism and be able to connect with Am Yisrael in some way.

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Wed, 24 Dec 2008 16:47:29 +0000

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By: Phil

Phil — Thu, 07 Aug 2008 17:25:30 +0000

This unfortunately happened to relatives, Rabbi said we were NOT allowed to participate, even though the guy had a “fake/conservative” conversion. Guy now claims he’s Jewish when asked, but they live their life as regular Texans, eating double cheese burgers, watching football on Shabbos.

By: utubefan

utubefan — Tue, 29 Jul 2008 14:57:13 +0000

To Shocked,

“Live and let live is my motto”

Does that motto include letting committed, observant Jews “live” too? It’s kind of a double standard when people who aren’t actively committed to a religiously observant lifestyle (whether Christian, Moslem, Jewish or other) do not “tolerate” people who are. If people are physically hurt by a religious observance, then Houston we have a problem, but if your feelings are hurt, then that may not necessarily be cause for alarm or “shock.” That said, many of us on here were honest about not being sure of what we would do. The choice is tough because the commitment to the tenets of our faith are strong.
That’s ok in your “live and let live” world, right?

By: Avi

Avi — Tue, 29 Jul 2008 07:31:30 +0000

I’m not one to usually post, but while searching for something completely unrelated, I happened upon this site.
There was a story a few years back in the New York Times written by a Jew who married a Gentile. A picture was taken for an event of some sort, and his wife (the gentile) had been edited out of the picture. This well known Jew, whose name escapes me, wrote a scathing letter to the Times. In it, he used every controversial piece of information in the Talmud, and distorted them for his less knowledgable readers, in a fashion that would leave most peoples mouths bitter.
One point I heard in response was as follows. If there were to be a cancer fund-raising event and a picture were to be taken, and in that picture someone was smoking, or there was a well known smoker present, wouldn’t they edit the picture? of course they would! Why? Because it goes against everything they stand for!
Not intermarrying is one of the tenets of our belief. For someone who doesn’t have a Jewish background will of course find it ridiculous. Or in the situation you are in AE, with knowledge of Judaism yet not agreeing with it, maybe you also find it ridiculous, maybe not. But that doesn’t change the fact.
It’s against what we believe. I haven’t read all the comments so I hope I haven’t written what dozens of other have already, but what you will be doing, almost brought my mothers to tears over the phone when I mentioned your story. I’ll admit, it didn’t do that to me, but my appreciation for this has been weakened through constant contact with Gentiles.
Of course you love him and care for him immensely, and couldn’t imagine life without him, but that doesn’t change anything for your parents. They can’t see themselves, or you, allowing a smoker into a picture of a cancer research fundraiser.
I’m too tired to continue tonight, so I think I’ll wait for some feedback and see what everyone thinks. All the best!

By: s(b.)

s(b.) — Tue, 22 Jul 2008 16:02:05 +0000

While I don’t disagree with you, shocked, I also feel there’s nothing wrong with wanting to share one’s religious beliefs in common with one’s spouse. Please don’t let your blood boil too much. There are people in every group of religious adherents with whom one might disagree. Good thing you’re not marrying any of them.