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Another shidduch crisis theory

So my friend Yoni takes the credit for this theory which seems to make sense. He stated that you may notice that as women get older they become more career driven and successful, but usually single men top off and start to become nebachy (weird) and I must say I have definitely noticed this phenomena. I have definitely noticed this in out of town shuls, there are always a few older single guys and they are always weirdos, but the women are usually put together and not too weird- I mean anyone over 20 and single is pretty weird right?

In my dating experience I have found that overall the girls I have dated consistently made double what I made and were way more put together in terms of financial security, life planning etc… this may be because girls schools of the religious world teach their students to spell properly- but I am not really sure. I just blame it on my yeshiva education or lack thereof.

{ 64 comments… add one }
  • A23 July 13, 2008, 10:21 PM

    Perhaps the single men were weird from the beginning, not just once they became definite bachelors.

  • Left Brooklyn and never looked back July 14, 2008, 7:26 AM

    I agree with A23. Ask any girl who is dating guys, there are a lot of strange guys out there and many of them never meet their “bashert”. Though they may get weirder with age.

    Just face it Hesh, most women are much more “put together” at a younger age than guys. Has nothing to do with their schooling. You should read “Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus.”

  • utubefan July 14, 2008, 9:07 AM

    The older guys are weird because they are the only ones left. The cool, normal ones are taken first. With girls, there are just more cool, normal, put-together ones to begin with. And, because there is a greater pool of women due to the span of ages that the men will not date (over 30 or 35), you are left with wonderful, great women and weird older guys. BTW, even the weirdos will zero in on the 21 year olds at a singles event or Simcha. It’s pretty disgusting.

  • Ex-wife of BT July 14, 2008, 10:29 AM

    There are so many divorcees and widowers out there that an older woman shouldn’t have a problem.

  • chnyock July 14, 2008, 10:40 AM

    every pot has a cover they say
    some guys are bbq’s….

  • Anonymous July 14, 2008, 10:40 AM

    Totally agree. By the time my wife’s friend hit 29 she had to marry a guy who was 37 just to match her level of success and maturity. Luckily, I grabbed mine when she was 20!

  • Meira July 14, 2008, 11:15 AM

    Ex-wife of BT: I beg to differ. I am barely over 30 and it is a BIG problem. Not that many widowers out there (which is a good thing!) and I hate to say it – but it seems that a lot of the over 30 single guys are single for a reason.

  • utubefan July 14, 2008, 11:38 AM

    Ex-wife, um, sorry to put it this way, but the widowers get taken up pretty quickly–like within a few months sometimes–and–thank G-d–there aren’t enough widowers for all the singles. As for the divorced guys, they aren’t exactly a party. The reality is that when a frum woman decides to divorce often this is for a damn good reason, not always, but often given the social and economic costs to that woman. So many of those divorced guys are just trouble. I think that older singles should consider the divorced and widowed because at least they have made the commitment to marriage which many of those older guys can’t do.

  • KissMeI'mShomer July 14, 2008, 11:45 AM

    I actually know a single ( never-married) girl in her upper twenties who will only date divorcees because she thinks any frum guy over thirty who has never been married is either weird, gay, or both.
    This may be a good topic for sociological research. Any takers?

  • Jacob da Jew July 14, 2008, 11:47 AM

    Interesting point, Hesh/Yoni.

    My wife’s friend was recently involved in a singles event so we went over to support her.

    I was surprised to see how many fine ladies were there and that the men were, well, dogs.

    We gotta go back 200 years, and I’ll take 3!

  • Frumbutnotaidel July 14, 2008, 12:16 PM

    Kiss me, I actually prefer to date divorced guys as well (I’ve never been married).

    Back to the original topic, all of my single girl friends have great jobs/careers while just a few of my single guy friends have any direction.

    Nothing bothers me more than when being set up with a guy to hear “he’s in computers” when I ask what that means I get told I’m too picky.

  • jennthejewess July 14, 2008, 3:11 PM

    Jacob- watch the Showtime TV show- Big Love- u may change ur mind abt 3 wives…

  • Jacob da Jew July 14, 2008, 6:21 PM

    jenn, you got a copy i can borrow?

  • Future Druggie July 14, 2008, 7:07 PM

    Some men make great stay-at-home Dads.

  • jennthejewess July 15, 2008, 10:35 AM

    JAcob- I rent it from Blockbuster or watch on sidereel…ull never envy a mormon again…

  • KissMeI'mShomer July 15, 2008, 11:15 AM
  • Anonymous July 16, 2008, 9:35 AM

    Is it just me? I have seen plenty of weird women–both married and single. Why do men only get put down? Sheesh.

  • Anonymous July 16, 2008, 9:35 AM

    Is it just me? I have seen plenty of weird women–both married and single. Why do men only get put down? Sheesh.!!!

  • Shua July 16, 2008, 2:45 PM

    I can’t really comment on the mental state of older men. I do, however, take some offense at frum’s “computer guy” comment. Some people are real network engineers, and it takes a considerable amount of talent if you’re for real.

    Divorced guys are great, BTW 😉

  • Frum Satire July 16, 2008, 2:58 PM

    Hey Shua I myself am a computer guy and work in SEO and SEM so I was poking fun in general.

  • s(b.) July 16, 2008, 3:16 PM

    shua, have you dated many? (I’m kidding!) 🙂

  • Shua July 16, 2008, 4:25 PM

    sb – let’s just say i know one quite intimately. (though it’ll take a lifetime for me to completely figure him out 😉 )

    now as for older men, i’d really like to date one, but Frumster won’t show me the male profiles 🙁 discrimination…

  • s(b.) July 16, 2008, 5:43 PM

    you can borrow my frumster login any time, as long as you remember you hold the future of the jewish people in your hands. 🙂

  • Shua July 16, 2008, 7:43 PM

    Heshy – was referring to “frumbutnotaidel”.

    There are only 0010 types of people in the world – computer guys and non-computer guys…

    Degnellahc yllacinhcet eht rof ,yranib stI

  • s(b.) July 16, 2008, 8:42 PM

    if guys can’t check out what other guys are posting, that’s pretty beat, imo.

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