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Kosher for Shabbos Toilet Paper – no joke!!!

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shabbos-toilet.jpg

I honestly thought this was a joke when I first received it in my inbox, but its not. It is probably one of the funniest things I have seen in a long time. Of course it creates issues- because now the Rabbis can ban toilet paper all week, because we may come to use it on shabbos, etc… The website is like a run on late night infomercial convincing you to buy something you do not need. My favorite line on the site is by far the following.

As an engineer involved in wastewater processing, I approve of something that’ll have more people in the frum community using toilet tissue instead of facial tissue in their toilets on Shabbos.
-survey respondent

By the way this is not an advertisement, my advertisers don’t let me make fun of them like this. Shabbos bathroom tissue.

{ 78 comments… add one }
  • J June 19, 2008, 10:45 AM

    Well, it’s definitely true that some houses with old plumbing just can’t handle tissues. Facial tissues are relatively strong, while toilet paper is made to disintegrate in the water.

    By the way, how true is it that one can tear toilet paper on Shabbos if not along the perforated line?

  • jennthejewess June 19, 2008, 11:11 AM

    omg my entire office is cracking up!…Maybe i shouldnt provoke then cuz they think chareidim are crazy in the first place but i couldnt resist…This is the funniest thing! The funniest part is how comprehensive the website is! Like they put in alot of effort…and its decorative too! Plumbers choice!
    btw best line is- “no more awkward reaching behind you to reach tissues” are u kidding? i guess its more of a workout than these ppl are used to all that turning and reaching….

  • heshman June 19, 2008, 11:20 AM

    Jenn I miss your comments what happened to you? Well at least I know your reading my stuff still.

    Oh no turning and reaching is going to kill you- its a good way to crack your back.

  • Meira June 19, 2008, 11:56 AM

    Ha. I had my co-worker in the next cubicle laughing at this one too! It IS hard to explain.

    I loved the comment stating “I like putting items in our home that remind us that we are Jewish and it is Shabbos.”

  • heshman June 19, 2008, 12:15 PM

    Me too Meira – I was talking to one of my best friends and I was like I wonder if they realize the irony of thinking about how Jewish they are when wiping- its just downright nasty.

  • Hadassah June 19, 2008, 12:43 PM

    blimmin’ heck!!!

  • Meira June 19, 2008, 1:17 PM

    I also liked the store listing…Good to know that even though I am out-of-town, I won’t have to behind the times. My local grocer will be stocking this gem. Then I e-mailed this to a friend, and he pointed out how appropriate that it is available for purchase in Flushing. Nice.

  • heimish in bp June 19, 2008, 1:27 PM

    This is funny, but a real useful inovation would be a light in the fridge on a shabbos day timer. Most Orthodox homes just unscrew the bulb the day the fridge arrives and never turn it back in. Maybe when they clean it for pesach, to see if there are no microscopic dots of chamets, do they screw it back in. But otherwise, we have to live our lives with darkened refridgerators.

    One day

  • Maddox June 19, 2008, 1:58 PM

    I don’t find it so awkward reaching behind me to grab some spunk wipes. If someone happened to be standing there waiting to hand them to me, maybe.

    Finally a solution to my shabbos excretion problems. I’ve waited hours for shabbos to end in my lavatory just so I could cleanse myself properly. Thank you Shabbos Innovations.

  • Left Brooklyn and never looked back June 19, 2008, 2:18 PM

    I agree with Maddox. Holding it in can be darn right uncomfortable.

    But in a serious note, it just come to show the level to which the Frum have reached. They have no other worries in the world then precut paper. Wow. I strive for this level of gadlut (or I guess in their case gadlus).

  • Chavi June 19, 2008, 3:26 PM

    Sweet! I can hit Kol Tuv for my kosher TP needs.

    Does this mean it’s kosher for TPing someone’s house on Shabbat, too!?

    • bratschegirl January 22, 2012, 1:30 PM

      Only if both your houses are inside the eiruv and you don’t have to carry the box in public.

  • Meira June 19, 2008, 3:45 PM

    The club case costs $119. That would be one expensive house TPing endeavor 🙂

  • Texgator June 19, 2008, 4:27 PM

    So what’s the halachic issue with using those “wet wipes” that people use to clean baby’s bottoms with? Is that like using soap or something?

  • Meira June 19, 2008, 4:34 PM

    It’s the squeezing. You could potentially wring moisture out of them. (Not that I actually held to that.)

  • Mikeinmidwood June 19, 2008, 4:40 PM

    They should come out with toilets that dont flush, that way we wont clean on shabbos. Because maybe if you flush it will clean your toilet with the water. (cleaning is assur on shabbos).

  • heimish in bp June 19, 2008, 5:22 PM

    cleaning is not assur on shabbos,

    there is an issur of melaben which pertains to clothing

  • Frum Punk June 19, 2008, 6:14 PM

    So basically its just a box of tissues with tabs to attach it to a regular dispenser? And $199!? WTF?

  • Mikeinmidwood June 19, 2008, 6:20 PM

    Heimish

    I meant that and it also includes scrubbing which is done to toilets. Washing, scrubbing…. its all the same

  • s(b.) June 19, 2008, 7:22 PM

    MiM, it’s called a chamber pot. lol Do you two know each other in 3D? 🙂

    As a complete aside, I’m in Teaneck, tonight, briefly, and I was at a traffic light. I’ve got ahavat yisrael out the wazoo — the (dressed like he is very observant) man driving the minivan behind me was picking his nose with his pinky like he was looking for the promised land — so I kept on grinning, and he kept on digging. Maybe you had to be there. It was a funny moment. Everybody’s human. That guy cracked me up. I didn’t make eye contact. he looked like he had all the temptation he could handle — literally!

  • Ex-wife of BT June 19, 2008, 9:01 PM

    Can I advertise my craft projects on the toiletet paper?

  • Chris_B June 19, 2008, 9:40 PM

    Is the problem with turning around and reaching due to being a “stiff necked people”?

    s(b.)

    the guy sitting , well slouching really, across from me this morning was also goblin hunting with amazing vigor. How is it that some folks have no problem with digging for gold in public?

  • s(b.) June 19, 2008, 9:51 PM

    I don’t know, man. I figure if I don’t have enough (whatever) to share with everyone, it should probably be done privately. 😆

  • Mikeinmidwood June 19, 2008, 9:55 PM

    Chris_B

    Is the problem with turning around and reaching due to being a stiff necked people?
    lol

  • Heterim are for Hippies June 20, 2008, 12:47 AM

    No surprise. This comes from the makers of the “Tefillin Sweater.”

    go to kosherimage.com/t-sweater2.html

    Making Useless Junk Since 5765…

  • Frum Punk June 20, 2008, 2:06 AM

    The Tefillin Sweater is still a running joke for my dad. A sweater for the man too lazy to either roll his sleeves or take off his sweater while wearing tefillin.

  • Chris_B June 20, 2008, 4:50 AM

    Wow… I looked through that site and I’m somehow impressed by all the effort they made to sell their odd and slightly cheezy items intended only for what amounts to rules lawyering.

  • MD June 20, 2008, 6:25 AM

    lol… I thought that the tefillin sweater was the ultimate in uselessness but now they are really scraping the barrel, a bit wierd really because some of their stuff is really useful..the shabbos toothbrush was a great idea and the lamp was good till it broke….why did they just run out of good ideas?

  • heshman June 20, 2008, 7:13 AM

    The shabbos toothbrush sounds horrible- what would rubber bristles accomplish, thats kind of like washing your hands with just cold water- it “seems” to work.

  • Left Brooklyn and never looked back June 20, 2008, 7:17 AM

    While we all be laughing, I am sure that there are people who will be using the shabbos paper this week. But then I guess it is easier then precutting the Jewish Press.

  • heshman June 20, 2008, 7:51 AM

    Haha- someone just made that comment to me on the phone yesterday- how the Jewish Press should be used for TP- I love the JP so I don’t agree.

    Not only will people be using this shabbos toilet paper- maybe some folks will stop eating at your house if you do not use kosher toilet paper.

  • Chris_B June 20, 2008, 9:53 AM

    Quote from the shabbos toothbrush page:

    “When wet, densely packed nylon bristles of a regular toothbrush are pressed against the teeth, many poskim consider it is as if the water is squeezed out of the bristles and forbid using a wet toothbrush. The rubber bristles of the Shabbos Toothbrush are far enough apart that it is obvious that liquid does not get absorbed into the bristles and is not squeezed out.”

    OK this is some seriously flawed reasoning. The bristles of a toothbrush are synthetic material, most commonly nylon. They dont “absorb” liquid at all. Rubber bristles (unlikely to be real rubber, far too expensive, probably just another synthetic) spaced farther apart do nothing different than normal nylon ones. I guess its at least better than not brushing at all though…

  • heshman June 20, 2008, 10:03 AM

    Ok rubber bristles will not clean teeth anyway- what are they trying the whole “squeegie” thing like at gas stations.

    I always thought that toothbrushes weren’t kosher for shabbos because of bleeding and rubbing.

    Also “many poskim consider it is as if the water is squeezed out of the bristles and forbid using a wet toothbrush”

    You can find all sorts of different “poskim” who say whacked out things- though this is run of the mill.

  • s(b.) June 20, 2008, 10:59 AM

    Um, health beats shabbos. If you don’t brush your teeth properly, your teeth may rot, break, fall out, etc. Or perhaps chulent is a conspiracy created by toothless, impovershed Eastern European Jews because that’s all they could eat from having not brushed their teeth on Shabbos (I’m being facetious).

  • s(b.) June 20, 2008, 11:00 AM

    (duh) I am not a rav; your rabbinic mileage may vary.

  • jennthejewess June 20, 2008, 11:57 AM

    hesh i read almost everything u write but its been so busy at work its hard to comment and also havent been feeling the stuff asd much lately- maybe not controversial enuf for me? Hopefully ill come see ur in park slope- email me the info again.

  • Left Brooklyn and never looked back June 20, 2008, 1:06 PM

    Since we are getting so careful and prohibited Shabbat activities, one should not wear shoes on Shabbat since we wear out the soles.

  • s(b.) June 20, 2008, 2:26 PM

    If you wear ’em enough, all clothes get worn out. 🙂

  • Ben June 20, 2008, 7:24 PM

    REMEMBER ABOUT 10 years ago the flick ” A Walk On The Moon” it’s about bungalow colony life in the summer of 1969. Well there’s a line when a “frei” girl asks a frum girl counsleor if she ever kissed a boy with her mouth open. The frummie replies. ” I can’t even tear toilet paper on shabbos”

  • sh June 22, 2008, 5:08 AM

    just noting hat the basic heiter for toilet paper at all is a bit dubious.

    the gmara specifically forbids using paper of any kind for such a use, and it took a long while for jews to start using it, and even longer for the rabbies to accept it (mainly by being silent about the whole issue or claiming the relevent demons are less abundant these days).

  • Chris_B June 22, 2008, 6:04 AM

    This got me thinking, if using TP and regular kleenex are not allowed, what do you use if you have a cold during shabbos? Let your nose run? Sneeze all over your neighbor in shul?

  • Ben-Yehudah June 22, 2008, 9:22 AM

    B”H

    The issue isn’t THAT funny.

    There was a time that materials from genizoth made their ways into recycling for toilet paper. In some instances one could see the othioth.

    Thus, the stamp “Ain hashash genizah.”

    There are also those who do not want to support a factory owned and operated by Jews, which operates on Shabbath.

    There are various issues which have been addressed in Israel.

  • Homeschool Mom June 22, 2008, 2:09 PM

    What if you accidentally tear it while you are trying to pull it out?

  • chanief June 22, 2008, 7:29 PM

    Oh boy. I’m with Left Brooklyn – It’s so nice to see the frum world has nothing better to worry about.

    I’m going to try to remember, when I die, to ask God if he had nothing better to worry about then if someone used actual toilet paper on Shabbos. If his answer is yes, I want nothing to do with him. (Of course that’s assuming “he” exists….)

    Anyone who takes issue with my opinion that God does NOT give a crap about such minutia… Smite me!

  • heshman June 22, 2008, 8:24 PM

    As long as we dont go back to the days where everyone used their hands to wipe.

  • heimish in bp June 23, 2008, 8:49 AM

    Chanief – wow- berabim

  • chanief June 23, 2008, 10:08 AM

    Heimish- ? what do you mean?

  • heimish in bp June 23, 2008, 12:05 PM

    Your questions on hashgacha pratis – which go hand in hand with your observations.

    I think we all have our levels of doubt, but dont air it in public

  • s(b.) June 23, 2008, 12:11 PM

    chris_b, what makes you think tissues aren’t allowed? (I’m not debating whether or not they’re friendly for septic systems). If I were in shul and I sneezed, I’d hope I had a tissue or a handkerchief on me. The idea of blowing my nose with slice-o-tree shul-excuse-for-folded-toilet-tissue is not appealing.

  • heshman June 23, 2008, 12:21 PM

    The worst are those shul tissues they have in those rusting dispensers.

  • s(b.) June 23, 2008, 12:24 PM

    that’s EXACTLY what I’m talking about, man.

  • Anonymous June 23, 2008, 1:05 PM

    Don’t know why anyone is surprised about the packaged Shabbos toilet paper–if there is a buck to be made off of frummies someone will make it. Besides why is this worse then what my father came home from Williamsburg with in 1965–toilet paper with a heimishe hechsher Kosher for Pesach.

  • chanief June 23, 2008, 2:17 PM

    Heimish, You make it seem like being open about one’s opinions and or doubts is a bad thing! I guess if I were ashamed of my feelings, I would probably not share them in public.

  • s(b.) June 23, 2008, 2:36 PM

    He’s a tough nut to crack. I read that sentence totally differently. Go figure.

  • chanief June 23, 2008, 3:55 PM

    Oh hmmm, maybe I interpreted it wrong (it has happened before!)

  • s(b.) June 23, 2008, 4:11 PM

    you’re trying to steal my job, aren’t you? :p

  • KissMeI'mShomer June 23, 2008, 4:53 PM

    The crucial question is yet to be answered.
    Is this toilet paper kosher l’Pesach?
    There might be cornstarch on it!

  • Heimish in bp June 23, 2008, 5:12 PM

    Chanief, Oh, I am all for being open about ones feelings about anything. Just read my comments. However I was just very surprised how you were using a tone that was very haughty, toward god. in my eyes, “Anyone who takes issue with my opinion that God does NOT give a crap about such minutia Smite me!” is a little extreme to be saying about the supreme being, in a public sphere. That was my comment.

    s(b.) 2 things:
    1. how did you read the sentence?
    2. Let Chanief fight her own battles

  • s(b.) June 23, 2008, 6:47 PM

    heimish,
    1. I’m a lover, not a fighter, and if you’re actually married and have any respect for your wife, I hope you’ll spend more time cleaning up your facebook profile and less time telling me what to do.
    2. It could’ve been read two ways (of which I’m aware). –I think we all have our levels of doubt, but dont air it in public–
    a. a general statement about your opinion of the human thought process followed by you thinking the we to whom you’re referring don’t air those feelings in public.

    b. a general statement about your opinion of the human thought process followed by you telling chanief that we (we the frum? we the Jews? what do you mean we? only you would know the answer to that one.) don’t air those feelings in public (basically you writing as if you have the right to tell anyone else what to do or write).

    I chose to give you the benefit of the doubt (a.), knowing I was probably wrong. As for chanief, she could probably kick both of our with one arm tied behind her back and is quite capable of defending herself, is she feels any need to. (the violence part was purely facetious)

  • s(b.) June 23, 2008, 6:54 PM

    On my own journey, for myself, I have discovered that it’s not about God or anyone who isn’t me caring if I keep kosher or shabbat or dress modestly. It’s about whether or not I care about doing (whatever).

    My concept of God didn’t kill me in 8th grade when I had a bacon cheeseburger at a diner, so I know there’s no dude with a beard crying in his Cheerios if I don’t eat kosher. There are people being raped and all sorts of worse things for my concept of Hashem to be caring about. And I would rather his/her attention be focused on genocide and natural disaster recovery and getting some rain to where there are droughts than on what I eat for dinner.

    The Jews chose the Torah (you know the song — and then to b’nai yisroel hashem did go…) — and, yeah, that’s one approach to it that works for some people. And when it works for me, it really means something. It’s about compassionate living and mindfulness, not about how if I don’t keep kosher, I won’t get a good place in olam haba.

    Different strokes for different folks, and whatever puts the creme in your spiritual Twinkie (so to speak). Sei gesund.

  • chanief June 23, 2008, 6:58 PM

    Heimish, heimish, heimish. While I’m sure God appreciated your sticking up for him, why don’t you follow the advice you offered s(b.) and let him fight his own battles? 😉 Ok, I am half joking there, try not to get too upset.

    My intention really was not to be haughty toward God – the “smite me” is my take on “bite me” when it comes to religious views or questions and was directed to anyone who may pick an argument with me or get on my case for my opinion. Sorry you were surprised by the ferocity of my comment.

    As far as making extreme statements in a public sphere goes, can you imagine how opinionated I am in private?!?!

  • chanief June 23, 2008, 7:01 PM

    s(b.) Have I told you lately that I love you?

  • s(b.) June 23, 2008, 10:02 PM

    aw, shucks, chanief; the feeling is mutual. :passes the love on to the next person:

  • heshman June 24, 2008, 10:22 AM

    I feel the love- and I just tried to set you two up on facebook.

  • yonkeltron January 5, 2009, 10:55 AM

    Rabbi Eliyahu Touger’s commentary on the Mishneh Torah says, in response to Shabbat 26:4 and it’s discussion of using implements to clean one’s self in the bathroom, that “an exception is made in order to allow a person to take care of his basic hygienic needs” and “the motivating principle behind these laws – that our sages allowed certain leniencies for the sake of human dignity and hygiene – is pertinent at all times”.

  • Frum Satire January 5, 2009, 1:01 PM

    Hey Yoni I heard that back in the day they used their hands for the wiping.

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