This was originally posted long ago, but since many of you are too lazy to look through my archives- I have edited it and reposted it.
This article was sent to me by a red headed, Canadian lady friend of mine who wished to remain annonymous. I took her ramblings and added my own spice.
So I am standing at the Mechitza peering into the men’s section at the shtick being preformed for the chosson and kallah. A guy dressed in a clown outfit is juggling flaming bowling pins to the excitement of the chosson and kallah and the glee of all those watching the fiery display. The women peek over the mechitza scared of being chased back behind the iron curtain to where they will be forced to conduct the slamming of the foot in the middle dance and be void of cool shtick. For some reason we girls can never think on anything good to do- always some skits or dressing like cowgirls or break dancing- while we try and see what the guys are cheering about and notice a guy dressed like a lion riding a unicycle with a wine bottle balanced on his head or maybe a bunch of guys dancing the Macarena- but we are forced to a life of peering rather than being included and so here I am forcing my way between yiddisher mamales and the chossons first cousins to peer at the spectacle taking place.
Then I see him, clad in his wide brimmed borcelino with the front brim tipped down, black brimmed glasses, gleaming white shirt hiding his six pack and a bright orange tie. He has a wide smile and looks to be about 23 years old. He has got that tight leaning over the shtender at his seat in Baltimore while shteiging away at bava metzia look. I wonder if his name is Yanky, or shmuley, or maybe Yechiel. I let the sylibals of Yechiel roll off my tounge as a droplet of drool forms on my lip gloss. I quickly wipe it away with my thumb catching some of my so-called untznius “red” lipstick residue. I start to think about our chasunah and what kind of cholent he would want me to cook, what our kids will look like, if he’s into Shweky and right before I start imagining our wedding night I catch myself. I wonder if he’s married?
This brings me to my complaint or rant. So there you are young man looking at us women over the mechitza trying to catch our eye or trying to find your aunt or whatever- and you notice a young lady maybe myself who catches your attention. Instantly you see her sheitle, fall, wedding ring, engagement ring, large stomach with a child inside, child sucking on nipple etc…Meaning within an instant of checking out this lovely ladies mid section you have passed on to the next one finding out she’s married within the first couple of seconds of sizing her up. And for the rare case that actually think she’s single she will tell you off within 2 minutes of you trying to score a shidduch date at the midtown Marriott with her- and your elevator riding dreams go out the window.
For us women this is not so simple. Very rare is the frum guy that dons a wedding band, and even rarer is the frum man that wears a sheitle- unless Rogaine didn’t work as prescribed, and even rarer is does the frum man show signs of being pregnant. My beef is that unlike women men actually enjoy being hit on, and will play with it until they feel its time to drop the news of their being married. Hurt and embarrassed we retreat to the other side of the mechitza of kabbals haponim where we can drown our sorrows in pasta salad or finger foods. Why shouldn’t men have to wear wedding bands- besides being happily married it signals to potential shidduchs that you are off limits? Its not like we can tell by the size or style of their hat, yarmulke, or length of payos if they are married. We may able to tell by the three kids they are holding- but who is to say that they are his kids. This is just my beef.
64 responses so far ↓
1 Anonymous // Jun 11, 2008 at 8:42 pm
It sounds like this lady is from a litvish community. Ignoring the fact that she’s speaking like a teenage girl with hormones raging - it’s much easier to tell marriesd guys in chassidish communities. Usually the kapota and gartel give it away.
2 heshman // Jun 11, 2008 at 9:14 pm
You know its funny because she is from the exact opposite- she just happens to attend those sort of weddings.
Definitely not a teenage girl- 27, but 27 year old girls have raging hormones as well.
3 Mordechai // Jun 11, 2008 at 9:19 pm
This frum guy wears a wedding band, a gift from my wife; I love how it looks on me.
4 frum single female // Jun 11, 2008 at 9:29 pm
yes, even worse is at singles events when married men are among those hosting the event and unless they are wearing a wedding ring one can’t tell if they are married.
if a man is holding a child in shul , even if its his child, it is no indication that he is married. he could be divorced with children.
5 s(b.) // Jun 11, 2008 at 9:36 pm
Those of us who don’t run around with men in black and telltale kapotas and gartels also don’t appreciate the lack of wedding rings on married men. I don’t want to be flirting with a married guy, period. Sprouting some horns from the forehead would be an acceptable alternative to wearing a wedding band. (that is called kidding)
I realize there’s a beged isha issue some people cite re: guys wearing wedding rings, but isn’t part of the assurity (I made up a word there) something about the guy receiving it under the chuppah? If that’s the ISHsue (oh, I’m so clever :ducks to avoid flying fruit: ), why not just put it on in the yichud room, or after the wedding? It’s not dressing like a woman, it’s showing respect for your marriage and promoting the pursuit of men who are not you by single women.
6 mazeartist // Jun 11, 2008 at 9:50 pm
In my community, it’s easy to tell the singleton, he’s not wearing the tallit. Of course, there are some bachelors who wear tallit as part of their minhag.
For most, being the only guy in shul over age 30 and still without a tallit is like a scarlet letter and hopefully an extra incentive to marry soon.
Send this lady to my shul.
7 abandoning eden // Jun 11, 2008 at 9:54 pm
i’m not down with the dude’s without wedding rings…sounds skeezy to me.
Then again, i’m living with my bf, and I don’t have a ring. So even though i’m in a ‘marriage-like’ relationship (though not legally formalized) I don’t have a ring or anything proclaiming that.
The point is…I have no room to talk? Or maybe I should tell the bf to get me a ring of some kind?
8 S // Jun 11, 2008 at 10:16 pm
Its usually easy to tell which ones are married, they give off the married vibe. Some guys like to flirt and be friendly even if they are married because they are in denial of their exclusivity.
9 Lion of Zion // Jun 11, 2008 at 10:46 pm
“Why don’t frum men wear wedding rings?”
many do
“hiding his six pack”
if he still has 6-pack then this is a dead giveaway he’s not married. (if we’re not fat slobs to begin with, we quickly turn into one after marriage)
of course the real reason many men don’t wear rings is because this is a sure way to raise a red flag when going through the inquisition to get a kid into a yeshiva (happened to a friend at toras emes)
10 Lion of Zion // Jun 11, 2008 at 10:54 pm
“I realize there’s a beged isha issue”
what’s the issue? men wearing a ring is reflected both in minhag and halakhic literature. the custom in ashkenaz was for the father-in-law to present the ??? with a ring. and there is also a discussion (in the mishna berura?) whether there is difference in the requirement of men and women to remove their rings before ????? ????
11 Richie Sevrinsky // Jun 12, 2008 at 12:34 am
Bear in mind: the ring is used for the purpose of the halachic kinyan made in a wedding. By the “kessef” method of kiddushin, the chattan marries the kallah by giving her something of value. No such kinyan need be made by the kallah.
One time, I was shmoozing with a group of young frum folk before a standardized post-grad test. I distinctly remember “talking with my hands”, actually flailing them wildly all over. One of the girls I didn’t know in this group was desperately trying to follow my hands, and it wasn’t until afterwards that someone pointed out to me that she’d been scanning for a wedding band — not that she would’ve found one, since I don’t wear one.
Wikipedia says that this is a recent innovation:
The double-ring ceremony, or use of wedding rings for both partners, is a relatively recent innovation. The American jewellery industry started a marketing campaign aimed at encouraging this practice in the late 19th century. Learning from marketing lessons of the 1920s, changing economic times, and the impact of World War II, led to a more successful marketing campaign, and by the late 1940s, double-ring ceremonies made up for 80% of all weddings, as opposed to 15% before the Great Depression.
12 Ben-Yehudah // Jun 12, 2008 at 3:24 am
B”H
There is nothing in the least bit Jewish about wedding bands for men.
Take ‘em off now
13 hadassah // Jun 12, 2008 at 6:27 am
i think all married men should definitely wear a wedding ring. us religious women LOOK married once we have the ring, the sheitel etc. (even tho i am divorced, i look married, even tho i dont wear a ring, b/c when i cover my hair who can tell the difference)
when i marry i would love for my husband to wear a ring i gave him as a symbol of our love (ok bring me the vomit bucket) but it just isnt done that much in the community. it is very much a personal choice.
and looking for the soft middle on guys - some dont wait till marriage to put on weight…..
14 Lion of Zion // Jun 12, 2008 at 8:46 am
Richie Sevrinsky:
i don’t think anyone here who wears a ring does so within the context of a double-ring ceremony. i.e., there is not attempt to imply that there is any kinyan.
(did you go to flatbush?)
15 Anonymous // Jun 12, 2008 at 9:09 am
Hesh- don’t really care about this issue much since I am shall we say attracted to the same sex- BUT this post was hilarious as usual.
16 Yossi G. // Jun 12, 2008 at 9:13 am
There is no halachic issue with a man wearing a ring as long as its not presented at the time of the chupa- that much is clear from Igros Moshe. The real issue is the “goyish” nature of it, given that in the shtetl men didn’t have them.
However… personal experience has taught me that if you work outside the community, its only a matter of time until you have a problem, if you don’t have one. Either you are being coerced into single behavior that is inappropriate for real halacha reasons (strip joints, etc) or you are being hit on by those who apply secular standards (i.e, if you aren’t wearing a ring, you are available even if married).
Married frum men should HAVE to wear rings, IMHO!
17 heshman // Jun 12, 2008 at 9:58 am
Interesting point Yossi G.
18 Shevers // Jun 12, 2008 at 10:27 am
Depending where you are, atleast on Shabbos its easy to tell.
19 Lion of Zion // Jun 12, 2008 at 10:34 am
“The real issue is the “goyish” nature of it, given that in the shtetl men didn’t have them.”
not necessarily true
and back in the shtetl there was no indoor plumbing either. but bathrooms aren’t goyish.
20 s(b.) // Jun 12, 2008 at 10:34 am
in the shtetl, people didn’t have two sets of dishes, two ovens, or money to buy food, either. goyish? impovershed.
—
esser agaroth, one issue is fronting like you’re single when you’re not. is consideration and respect for marriage too girly?
—
“secular standards (i.e, if you aren’t wearing a ring, you are available even if married).”
Yossi, I totally don’t live in any sort of Judeo terrarium (Nassau County notwithstanding); I have NEVER heard of a married man NOT wearing a wedding ring meaning he’s available. If anything, it usually means he works with his hands (like he’s a contractor or an auto mechanic or a farmer). I totally call BS on that meaning a man is available for extra-marital anything. (though it would make sense to not wear one, if you were looking, regardless of where you’re from)
21 s(b.) // Jun 12, 2008 at 10:35 am
THANK YOU, Lion of Zion! lol
22 s(b.) // Jun 12, 2008 at 10:36 am
that’s it; time to build an outhouse.
23 Q // Jun 12, 2008 at 11:33 am
Yossi G. wrote: “However… personal experience has taught me that if you work outside the community, its only a matter of time until you have a problem, if you don’t have one. Either you are being coerced into single behavior that is inappropriate for real halacha reasons (strip joints, etc) or you are being hit on by those who apply secular standards (i.e, if you aren’t wearing a ring, you are available even if married).”
I don’t wear a ring (then again, I’m not married) and yet I never get hit on by women who apply secular standards. I must be doing something wrong.
24 Yossi G. // Jun 12, 2008 at 12:36 pm
>”I don’t wear a ring (then again, I’m not married) and yet I never get hit on by women who apply secular standards. I must be doing something wrong”
>”I have NEVER heard of a married man NOT wearing a wedding ring meaning he’s available.”
I guess that just means that I’m cuter than either of you!
25 Yossi G. // Jun 12, 2008 at 12:38 pm
Call the reason whatever you want, but even though we know from Talmud that men did wear rings (at least signet rings), in the shtetl they apparently did not. Would the retro-inclined Boro Park chassidim ban indoor plumbing if they could? It’s certainly possible!
26 chanief // Jun 12, 2008 at 12:42 pm
Yossi G, very good points. I see how people can view it as a “goyishe” thing, but there’s nothing wrong with it and ITA that frum married men should have to wear rings.
Q, sorry you’re not being hit on. LOL
s(b.) I don’t care how goyishe indoor plumbing is, you’re on your own with that outhouse!
27 s(b.) // Jun 12, 2008 at 12:55 pm
chanie, it’s really a clubhouse where we can study gemara. lol I love indoor plumbing!
—
On a semi-related topic, on myspace or facebook, if it’s not someone I know in person or from blog comments, I won’t approve a friend request from a man if his profile says married (I don’t mean musicians in bands, I mean random dudes with profiles that don’t say anything about their interests, that arrive without a note like, “I know a nice bochur for you.” lol).
Do you think I’m being anti-social? I just don’t have any idea why a married man would want to be an online friend of a single woman he hasn’t met or sent a note to, and with whom he has no apparent common interests. These are like, 50-year-old guys from Monsey and stuff. Wth? I don’t want to meet married guys (unless they have a well-paying job in my field available).
28 Anonymous // Jun 12, 2008 at 2:13 pm
Indoor plumbing is too goyish and must be banned….I smell a new chumra coming on!
(no pun intended)
29 heshman // Jun 12, 2008 at 2:28 pm
well many BT’s I know thought that flushing on shabbos was assur when they first started keeping stuff.
30 hadassah // Jun 12, 2008 at 2:29 pm
you know what else is goyish - pizza shops. they werent invented by Jews therefore should be banned. Come on, who is with me? They are a place rife with lashon hara and rechilut anyway, so should be shunned.
lets see - i think Mr Borsalino isnt of the faith…..
you can put anything in the category of chukat hagoy if you really try. i think its ridiculous.
wearing a wedding ring is a personal choice that i believe has nothing to do with religion.
31 Anonymous // Jun 12, 2008 at 2:40 pm
My 5 year old tried to use the flushing on shabbat is assur excuse when I busted him for leaving the scene of the crime without cleaning things up.
32 Menachem // Jun 12, 2008 at 2:41 pm
This frum man in 2 days will have proudly been wearing his wedding band for 27 years. I began wearing for exactly the reason pointed out in the story. Women have so many signs of marriage. Out in the working world, without a wedding band, a man would have none. It is therefore, davka, a very frum thing for a working man to wear one.
Also, the Mishna Brurah paskens that a man need not remove his ring when washing N’tilas Yadayim, which clearly implies the acceptance of the idea of a man wearing a ring.
33 hadassah // Jun 12, 2008 at 2:45 pm
menachem - a mishnaic source for a male wedding ring - I LIKE IT!!!! can you be a doll and tell me what tractate exactly - there is someone that i need to show as proof positive that it is acceptable in our religion. woohoo!! vindication!! (ok, sorry, crawling back into my little hidey hole now)
34 Menachem // Jun 12, 2008 at 3:06 pm
Hi Haddasah,
The Mishnah Brurah is not Mishna. It’s a legal compendium that was written about 100 years ago by the Chofetz Chaim to give “modern” updates to the laws of the Shulchan Aruch. The source for what I mentioned is 161:3:19.
35 hadassah // Jun 12, 2008 at 3:13 pm
menachem - how could i have grown up frum and not know that? another black mark against the way the community educates girl people. thank you tho, for the reference.
36 YH // Jun 12, 2008 at 3:33 pm
Married. Wears hat. Wears wedding band. Thinks it looks awesome (Go white Gold…not yellow).
37 heshman // Jun 12, 2008 at 3:39 pm
I always feel that rings will get stuck- my old man always says- Real men don’t wear jewelry.
38 me // Jun 12, 2008 at 3:44 pm
I find Yossi G.’s point very interesting. Recently I was at a company get-together at a bar, when this young shigsa started shmoozing with me in a friendly way. At first it seemed to me that she was hitting on me, but then I figured that I probably just think that cuz as a black hat yeshiva guy i’ve never shmoozed with shigsas at a bar before so it probably just seemed flirty to me while to her it was probably just normal conversation. Then somehow it came up in our conversation that I’m married and she gave me this disappointed look and asked “if you’re married why aren’t you wearing a wedding band?” I answered that orthodox jewish males don’t. Within seconds, she was off looking for someone else to hit on.
hmm, if I had answered that despite being married I’m still available, you think I woulda gotten lucky?
39 me // Jun 12, 2008 at 3:55 pm
BTW, Yossi G., in which company are strip joints mandatory for the staff? I want a job there!
40 Ben-Yehudah // Jun 12, 2008 at 5:07 pm
B”H
Anonymous: There is no respect for ones wife done by doing something not Jewish.
Why don’t grow a pair and stop posting anonymously? Who’s the girly now.
Menahem: ring doesn’t mean wedding ring.
41 hadassah // Jun 12, 2008 at 5:44 pm
why is anon being “girly” by keeping himself / herself anonymous - as a girl i take offense to your insinuation.
42 Dr. E // Jun 12, 2008 at 8:01 pm
If you see a aedding band on a guy wearing a frock. Dead giveaway that the guy is a BT.
43 Gavi // Jun 13, 2008 at 10:23 am
I don’t wear a wedding ring - don’t own one, don’t feel I need one. Then again, people usually find out that I am married within 5 seconds of talking to me - I love my wife very much, and tend to mention her a lot, even in casual conversation.
44 hadassah // Jun 13, 2008 at 10:31 am
aw Gavi - thats so sweet. how long you been married?
45 heshman // Jun 13, 2008 at 10:44 am
Gavi I wish women would do that more often, I was hitting on this girl at a wedding a few months ago and she flirting back, later I found out she was seriously dating someone.
46 Rafi // Jun 13, 2008 at 10:45 am
as written in the 6th/7th post by richie.
My rebbi told me when i was learning kiddushin that rav moshe feinstein paskaned that if there is a wedding where the chassan and kallah swap rings, and they THINK that they are just symbolizing vows and not knowing that there is a kinyan going on, AND if they are not somech da’as that “the rabbi knows what he is doing” or if the rabbi actually doesnt know whats happening either, then its not a good kiddushin.
i wonder how many momzering were caused my this…?
47 heshman // Jun 13, 2008 at 10:50 am
I think its momzerim- wouldn’t momzering be the act of creating momzers.
48 Anonymous // Jun 13, 2008 at 11:52 am
No mamzerim would be created by this…a child of unwed parents is not a mamzer.
49 Anonymous // Jun 13, 2008 at 12:45 pm
Why do the MO always feel the need to differ from long established practice? The things we do are not random. Minhag Yisroel Torah he, after all. If there’s a pressing need, then we can start asking questions, but this is something we’ve been doing fine without. Really there are bigger concerns in the community than this.
By the way, while it probably is mentioned in the MB, I HIGHLY doubt that the Chofetz Chaim zt’l actually wore one. Very highly.
50 Lion of Zion // Jun 13, 2008 at 1:30 pm
RAFI:
as i responded to richie above, there is no “ring-swapping” or a double-ring ceremony going on.
and anon is correct, the children are not mamzerim
51 Lion of Zion // Jun 13, 2008 at 1:36 pm
ANON:
“Why do the MO always feel the need to differ from long established practice?”
oh please. go find another vegetable/fruit to ban or another item to label as kitniyot. i hate to break it to you, but MO are not the only ones who “feel the need to differ from long established practice”
“Really there are bigger concerns in the community than this.”
so then stop making a big deal about it
“By the way, while it probably is mentioned in the MB, I HIGHLY doubt that the Chofetz Chaim zt’l actually wore one.”
a) not probably
b) if he discussed the halakhah of netilat yadayyim for a man who wears a ring with no editorial comment, then he permitted it. why are you trying to put words in the CC’s mouth?
c) it’s irrelevant whether he wore one or not. i’m sure he had his own personal minhagaim/chumras that are not all obligatory to the rest of us.
52 Meira // Jun 13, 2008 at 1:51 pm
Ok, too many anon’s…I need a name so that I won’t be confused with the MO bashing anon.
If a man wants to wear a ring, so be it. If he doesn’t want to, that’s cool too. It’s nobody else’s business.
Although, to bring it back to where this all started - Speaking as a single gal, it really can be hard to tell a man’s status without any giveway item of apparel. Especially when you are over 30 and nice looking, stable single guys are harder to come by. I’ve learned the hard way that demeanor is no indicator. It really sucks to see a nice looking guy at a kiddush and then, after a few inquiries, find out he’s married. Maybe a nice scarlet S lapel pin on the black suit would do the trick?
53 Leah Rosenfeld // Jun 13, 2008 at 2:15 pm
I sort of forced my husband to wear his ring. At first he was reluctant, but now he never takes it off and I love him even more for wearing it.
A ring is a symbol of unity and love between a man and his wife. A simple round ring is fine, fancy rings aren’t necessary. I don’t see any reason for a married man to not wear one. Allergy issues are usually resolved with Platinum and discomfort is not a valid excuse. Rings can be resized and after a month or so one gets use to the feeling and forgets about the ring.
No excuses boys, put on those rings!
54 Haveil Havalim #169 Part II | Writes Like She Talks // Jun 15, 2008 at 5:19 pm
[...] don’t remember the answer to Why don’t frum men wear wedding rings? anymore, but I didn’t think it was that funny until I re-educated myself at Frum [...]
55 KissMeI'mShomer // Jun 16, 2008 at 9:33 am
One of my fave stories is of a guy who was told by his rabbi that he can wear a ring to work so that he won’t get hit on. He was told not to wear one when he was back in the frum community. So it’s okay for frum women to hit on him…?
56 KissMeI'mShomer // Jun 16, 2008 at 9:40 am
“Why do the MO always feel the need to differ from long established practice?”
That’s right, it’s just for the heck of it.
“The things we do are not random.”
Sometimes it is.
“Minhag Yisroel Torah he, after all. If there’s a pressing need, then we can start asking questions, but this is something we’ve been doing fine without.”
But this article suggests that there may be a need. And how do you define “doing fine”? No one has died, true, but plenty of people end up in embarrassing or uncomfortable situations.
“Really there are bigger concerns in the community than this.”
This is true.
So you agree that we should start addressing real issues like date rape and drugs in the frum community, then.
“By the way, while it probably is mentioned in the MB, I HIGHLY doubt that the Chofetz Chaim zt’l actually wore one. Very highly.”
As do I.
I highly doubt that he wore sneakers as well.
57 KissMeI'mShomer // Jun 16, 2008 at 9:45 am
By the way, sorry about the snarky posts lately. Anon, I re-read my post towards you and apologize for my tone of voice. Can’t say my opinions have changed, but I think I could have been more polite.
58 KissMeI'mShomer // Jun 16, 2008 at 9:50 am
Anon, I re-read my post towards you and apologize for my tone of voice. Can’t say my opinions have changed, but I think I could have been more polite and less snarky about it.
I think what I really mean to say is that many individuals in the MO community face certain issues when dealing with the secular community (since they are more likely to be involved with it) that perhaps more Charedi types do not have to deal with.
I can imagine that one does not have trouble with the idea of not wearing wedding bands if he does not spend much time in the non-Jewish world, or if he works in a non-Jewish office but largely keeps to himself.
MO individuals who interact more with the “world out there” are more likely to face difficulty when other people, assuming that they are “modern,” expect them to live a modern lifestyle that includes modern traditions like wedding bands. Since the MO may not “stick out” as much, a lack of a wedding band may be less likely to be chalked up to tradition and may be perceived as indicator or bachelorhood or a malcontented marriage.
I can understand a Charedi argument that would postulate that this is just further reason why frum Jews should keep to themselves, to avoid any compromising situations.
But the fact remains that many frum people have chosen a MO lifestyle, and perhaps for this lifestlye, wearing a ring is the “lesser of two evils” (if it is indeed an evil) because it may at least prevent misunderstandings, flirtations, mixed signals, etc.
59 Yossi G. // Jun 16, 2008 at 5:22 pm
Just a thought I had, in thinking about the “rules” for dress, tznius, etc., for those working outside of the frum community:
If the rules are being made by the most Charedi insular rabbis, who live in Boro Park, Bnei Brak, or Jerusalem, how can they know what’s really happening in the secular world?
They don’t live, work, or see how outside people dress. The secular worlds standards are in most ways the basis for these rules! While there are certain absolutes in tznius, most of the halachos rely on what is the acceptable street standard. AIUI, This was Rabbi Ovadiah Yosef’s rationale for allowing slacks for women nowadays, and they certainly are (usually!) more tznius’dik than the frequently seen Flatbush too-tight skirt with a slit.
60 frumhouse // Jun 16, 2008 at 8:30 pm
I find men not wearing wedding bands to be annoying. I have a few single women who I am always on the lookout for a shidduch. Yes, I am a yenta.
Many times I will be at a kiddush or function where the husband is present but his wife is home with the kids. I can’t tell you how frustrating it is not to know if the guy is married or not.
I’ll go up to my husband all excited and ask if he knows the guy standing by the herring, and he’ll say umm.. he’s been married for 6 years and has 3 kids, why do you ask! I hate that. At least with a woman you know right away if she is married or not.
61 Shevers // Jun 17, 2008 at 9:27 am
I never understood the argument that just because some jews wear tighter shorter skirts that automatically makes pants tznius because they’re more modest than tight skirts. The answer isn’t to wear pants, the answer is to wear skirts that aren’t as tight.
62 heshman // Jun 17, 2008 at 10:04 am
Did you mean to comment on the pants post? I wrote about this issue a few weeks back.
63 Shevers // Jun 17, 2008 at 10:25 am
Oh well, whatever. It was more of a comment on Yossi G’s comment.
64 Moshe // Jul 4, 2008 at 9:56 am
According to halacha, the woman is married to the man, not the other way round. So the woman needs to “tell the world” she is married. The man doesn’t. Technically he can take on more wives…. yes, even after Rav Gershom’s cherem. The cherem does not prohibit multiple wives, it just restricts them and requires multiple rabinnical signatures for the Ashkenazim. The Sepharadim don’t even abide by that cherem.
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