Whenever someone would ask my father where we went to shul, he would always respond the same way- “never ask a west sider where they go to shul” implying there was no loyalty on the west side, and that choosing where you went to shul was based on many different attributes, including Rabbi, weather, distance, leg room, Kiddush club, booze availability, Speed or slowness of the davening, singing, what kind of reading material they had, seforim selection and loads of other conditions that one takes into when picking their shul. One who lives on the west side rarely goes to the same shul for weekday and shabbos davening- in fact shul hopping is a most common practice and something I grew up with. I really only hopped between several shuls being Carlebach, west side institutional synagogue (WSIS), ohev shalom, lincoln square and the forehand shteeble. Once in a while rumors of a massive Kiddush would float around and you could see an early exodus from shul by most anyone who wanted to attend, but Kiddush and shul hopping was accepted practice- although I am told in most places it is not.
I have of course taken my shul hopping practices to places where it is not generally accepted- in small towns there is a great loyalty to your shul- mostly for political reasons of course- but I was never one to get involved in politics, I just like to visit multiple shuls to meet multiple peoples. I can remember situations where people would ask- “hey you weren’t here for the whole davening- bet you just came for the Kiddush” of course I would answer yes- because where I’m from this is perfectly acceptable, but then again lots of things I grew up with were normal, such as women dancing with the Torah on simchas torah- which I have found out is not the general accepted practice, so maybe I’m just an outcast.
Flip to Shavuos, a time when shul hopping becomes a necessity. What if you want to hear a diverse array of shiurim and different Rabbis speak, etc? I had never even thought of this before someone mentioned on facebook that no one likes a shul hopper. I never thought of this before because for as long as I can remember I had spent my shavuos holidays in Rochester at the yeshiva there, and on the way back to my hosts would always stop at Beth Shalom to check out the food offerings, hop in on a shiur or chat with some old friends. Rarely did shul hopping come into play because- when you have a yeshiva- you really don’t need to shul hop.
This year I am spending the holiday in a place where shul hopping may become a necessity, I don’t have many friends in the area I am spending it in and the friends I do have aren’t of the learn all night types anyway. So I am going to have to shul hop- I’m kind of excited though for I will get to learn in a bunch of different places and get some diversity going on- oh and I get to sample the food of each individual shul- as long as they have some good cheesecake.
22 responses so far ↓
1 Batya Medad // Jun 6, 2008 at 9:18 am
yes, no, but…
I like the idea that there’s a choice of shuls.
No, because I really like my seat and the dovening in my shul.
It cost a lot to run a shul, and you need to contribute something. If all people do is hop, there won’t be any place to hop to.
nu? Does this make sense?
2 urban gypsy // Jun 6, 2008 at 9:26 am
I don’t think shul hopping is bad, though it can be construed as rude if you just come for kiddush: rude in the sense that you just rolled out of bed, not if you obviously davened somewhere else. Shul hopping is always okay on Simchas Torah.
I grew up with women dancing with the Torah on Simchas Torah too, and also kissing the Torah on Shabbos. I miss that
3 heshman // Jun 6, 2008 at 9:33 am
Batya you bring up a good point- can’t argue with that one. I guess the membership cost so much where I grew up that they can afford it.
Urban- no idea where your going to shul, but almost everywhere I go- the women kiss the torah.
4 urban gypsy // Jun 6, 2008 at 9:42 am
I don’t know of any Orthodox shul in Toronto that does that…do you happen to know any?
5 heshman // Jun 6, 2008 at 9:54 am
Well its impossible at the Bayit due to the balcony, what about the kehila center- the sephardi place right after the railroad overpass by Bathhurst and Steeles.
How about that shul all the way downtown on bathhurst- kind of like parallel to that Loma Castle- is that what its called- that castle on spadina up on the hill.
6 urban gypsy // Jun 6, 2008 at 9:58 am
I think the SKC has a balcony too. Come to think of it, I bet the balcony issue is the main reason. But I bet they wouldn’t do it anyway.
7 hadassah // Jun 6, 2008 at 12:31 pm
in my experience the chabad shuls bring the torah to the women EVERY shabbat for them to kiss before returning it to the Aron. (I am not chabad)
re: shul hopping - me and my kids shul hop depending on where we are eating lunch. i use hop in a different sense tho, as we change shuls every week, not 4 times in one davening!!!
shabbat shalom vechag sameach lekulam!
8 Leora // Jun 6, 2008 at 1:01 pm
As the wife of a shul treasurer, I’m fine with you hopping to every shul in town, as long as you pay dues to our shul.
As Batya said, someone’s got to pay for the furnace and the leaky roof. And the air conditioning and the rabbi’s salary.
9 Texgator // Jun 6, 2008 at 1:30 pm
My wife and hope between two different shuls regularly in a rather small town and we definetly feel the pressure to commit to one or the other at times. We contribute financially to both, so that’s not an issue….but I think human nature is for people to be territorial. For many shuls “members” are the “territory” to be protected. It’s a shame, because in my view it takes away from the concept of Jewish unity. Not that such unity is really a practical consideration in these days, but every little bit helps.
10 Anonymous // Jun 6, 2008 at 1:55 pm
Like Hassassah, I find shul hopping to be a necessity based on where the kids and I are invited for lunch. The two shuls in my area finish at such different times that I think it would be rude to our hosts not to attend their shul. But there are plenty of people who aren’t flexible that way and will only attend their shul. I think it’s politics.
Also, I find that neither shul is a great fit for me - one is too far to the right, the other is too liberal. So I bounce around depending on which extreme I am up to dealing with. Hmm…thinking about writing a Goldilocks and the 3 Shuls story…
11 chanief // Jun 6, 2008 at 2:05 pm
I have no issue with shul hopping, but I do understand the problem from a financial perspective. However, if you’re being a contributor to the shuls you frequent, it shouldn’t matter how many you visit.
Anon, I love your Goldilocks and the three shuls idea, very cute. Would they be three orthodox shuls or would she being trying out the three major variations on Judaism? It could be either a children’s book or a very irreverent adult’s book. (Only you’d have to spell Goldilocks like Goldielocks to get the Jewish spelling right;o)
12 Anonymous // Jun 6, 2008 at 2:14 pm
Chanief,
Hmmm…I’ m thinking Goldielocks as an irreverant adult’s book. It would be different flavors of Orthdoxy at the 3 shuls. Might be very cathartic for the identity crisis I feel like I’m having.
13 Ari // Jun 6, 2008 at 2:33 pm
If you’re single, you’re allowed to shul hop.
14 hadassah // Jun 6, 2008 at 3:26 pm
ari - which mesachta says that?
15 Anonymous // Jun 6, 2008 at 4:28 pm
Wish I had this problem…there aint no synagogues within miles of my town
16 CameraMan // Jun 6, 2008 at 4:46 pm
Personally, I think there’s no problem with shul-hopping. It’s up to the Rov to inspire loyalty. Loyalty, like kovod, is earned not given.
17 utubefan // Jun 7, 2008 at 9:34 pm
Two issues with Shul Hopping, one hasn’t yet been raised:
a. the dues/commitment-phobic people
b. the idea of Makom Kavua. There is such a thing as having a Makom Kavua in a Shul and having a Shul be your Makom Kavua. It forces you to commit to a regular davening time and style. It forces you to commit to a Rav which–like all commitments–means you won’t always agree with the Rav or the Kehilla, but that’s ok. It’s a lesson in character and humility.
18 utubefan // Jun 7, 2008 at 9:37 pm
And to the guy who said the Rav has to earn your commitment, no offense but once you choose–ostensibly after shopping around a bit–a Makom Kavua that fits you the best in the area, why would anyone there owe you a thing? Ever heard the expression “Magia Li?” The “Ask not what your country can do for you” fits well right about here. That’s why living out of town in a place where you don’t have a choice in Shul is so much healthier for the soul.
19 SUPERFRUM // Jun 7, 2008 at 11:47 pm
If you’re a popular guy, you’re always getting invited everywhere.
Perhaps degree of shul hopping should be taken as a measure of popularity?
20 Lion of Zion // Jun 11, 2008 at 9:23 am
i shul hop. while i eat at the kiddushes (which my wife doesn’t think i should do), i don’t send my son to the groups in the shul that has them because i think that is going to far. (i do pay dues at one shul.)
21 offtopic // Jun 11, 2008 at 9:23 am
http://www.ridethecity.com/index.php
22 heshman // Jun 11, 2008 at 10:31 am
I did some shul hopping- but no one had anything interesting going on- I think I will return to the yeshiva setting next year.
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