I have a rule that there are certain foods that can only be eaten at certain times. For instance shmura matzo is only eaten on Pesach- I would never eat it year round because the only way I can actually eat it- is if I go somewhere that has it, I just never saw the sense in paying $30 a pound for stuff that could be bought for much less- without the taste going anywhere, I understand that its ability to be used as a Frisbee goes down- and the sheer joy that is felt when looking for a whole matzo for lechem mishna is gone, but is it really worth $30 a pound?
In Monsey I have encountered a phenomena that probably only exists where multitudes of Charedim decide to live. Cholent on the weekdays. This to me is a cultural impossibility, it takes away the fun of this reserved for shabbos food. In fact cholent is a way of life in Monsey, they serve it everywhere- even the Gas station serves cholent on Thursday night- which is borderline insanity and very funny.
Getty on the Hill as it is known locally serves cholent in large containers to people filling up their car with overpriced fuel. If only cars ran on methane, cholent could be the new ethanol. In fact Getty on the Hill is one of the most interesting establishments I have ever seen. I know I am going on a tangent here- and I am likely to return, but this gas station has signs all around it that say “not everything we sell is under hashgacha”, they sell Yiddish newspapers, bloomys candies and donuts from Fallsburg Bakery that you grab with your hands, because the heimishe way to do things has to be as dirty as possible.
So its Thursday night at 11pm and you have this frenzy of tzitzis sticking out of the vest Chassidim eating cholent, smoking cigarettes and filling up their minivans. All that’s missing is a fast and the furious drag race.
Speaking of cholent on weekdays, I went to wedding in Monsey that was mighty fancy in the food department and the only way you could tell it was a Monsey wedding was that there was a table amidst tables of sushi, carved meats and fancy Chinese food- that was reserved for the greasy heimishe people. This table had farfel, cholent, kishka, kugel, and shlishkes- I love shlishkes- but cholent at a wedding is just a bit too ghetto for me.
Then you have the kumzitz special at Kosher Castle- yes a take off on White Castle- even the empoyees seem to have the same amount of brain cells. In fact I hear they are thinking of a movie entitled Hindy and Chedva go to Kosher Castle- and its all about how they are trying to hitchhike there but no one will pick them up because they are girls…So the Kumzizt special is cholent, kugel and kishka.
Then if you ever have a hankering for real heimishe food and of course generous helpings of cholent for breakfast lunch and dinner- you can head over to any of the take out stores. Take out in Monsey is very hard if you don’t speak Yiddish, I have not once been able to order in a crowded take out place- its just insanity.
The weirdest cholent experience I have ever had- besides for wanting to write the script for “two Jews one cholent” was when I stayed for a night in Postville Iowa. I was on some random road trip and I wanted to see what Chassidim in corn country looked like- they look and drive no different then Boro Park. In fact in the morning there was a bris, and for the first time in my life I had cholent, kugel, chicken wings and meatballs for the bris meal. It was heaven for me- but a gastrointestinal nightmare for a road trip.
In the future I hope to do a comprehensive Monsey restaurant review, as well as some on scene reporting from the Getty on the Hill which is the gas station serving cholent.
30 responses so far ↓
1 G in L.A. // May 12, 2008 at 10:48 am
Is it also common practice at this Getty to touch each donut, unitl you find the right one? Sounds great.
2 Moshe // May 12, 2008 at 11:02 am
We had neighbors that loved cholent so much, they had two crock pots, one for Friday night and one for Shabbat day.
3 heshman // May 12, 2008 at 12:06 pm
Oy- I like cholent- but only on shabbos. Juts like herring in fact.
4 Anonymous // May 12, 2008 at 12:12 pm
Hate to burn the cholent, or burst your bubble but Williamsburg and Boro Park are the same way. Cholent on buffets and even parve ones in Pizza stores. Parve????
5 heshman // May 12, 2008 at 12:52 pm
I have no doubt about that! I am just speaking about Charedi communities in general.
6 Sam // May 12, 2008 at 1:09 pm
You have not experienced Monsey till you ride on Monsey Trails with the curtains down and everyone Fressing Cholent sandwiches!
Besides, thursday night Cholent at Gettys is one of main attractions of Monsey like Mincha at Tuvia’s and Motzei Shabbos bagels at Eli’s.
7 Hee Hee // May 12, 2008 at 1:24 pm
Hadar Geulah on 18th ave makes awesome kugel and chollent and its open durring the week. I alsways see men piling in there for an afternoon snack.
Thrusdays nights/friday afternoons is when the place is crawling. There is a manicure place right across the street so the men drop their wives off there and they go across the street to fress some gishmake chow while waiting until their wives mani’s amd pedi’s dry.
8 heshman // May 12, 2008 at 1:30 pm
So can you people stand to eat cholent on a weekday?
9 Child Ish Behavior // May 12, 2008 at 1:32 pm
Its all the rage now, shabbos food all week long. The real question is if they are serving fresh chulent or is it the same old shabbos chulent all week long. Like good wine it only gets better with age. Shabbos tiym kol yoym.
10 Moshe // May 12, 2008 at 1:37 pm
Wife makes a huge pot of yemenite soup and I make a lot of dafina (cholent) so we end up eating leftovers the whole week.
Cholent is great for all those takeouts, it’s prob the cheapest thing to make and requires least amount of work and time and they can still charge what they want.
11 heshman // May 12, 2008 at 1:43 pm
Well then sooner or later the Rabbis will have another thing to ban- if the shabbos food becomes weekday food- you will not be able to eat it on shabbos because its like bringing the gashmius of the week into shabbos.
ASSUR!!!
12 Jewish Blogmeister // May 12, 2008 at 1:53 pm
I have many a time sampled the cholent at the “getty on the Hill” (which is on rt 59 ) and for a parve cholent ( that’s right no meat in that baby) it’s quite good. I have actually reviewed some of the Monsey restaurants myself.
13 Hee Hee // May 12, 2008 at 2:14 pm
I think cholent looses its ta’am if its eaten durring the week. But potato kugel is awesome 24/7. Its my favorite food of all time next to sushi!!
Forgot to mention, im the only girl who goes into hadar geula on thursday nights. The place is full of men so they take my order right away so i dont have to stick around and wait!! Their overnight kugel rocks!!
14 JerseyGirl // May 12, 2008 at 4:07 pm
“If only cars ran on methane, cholent could be the new ethanol…”
Haha! Good one
Funny post
15 Left Brooklyn and never looked back // May 12, 2008 at 6:56 pm
Does the chulent include kishka or is that extra? And is it real kishka or the stuff wrapped in cellophane??
16 gp // May 12, 2008 at 7:41 pm
I hate cholent, I can’t believe people eat it during the week. We make a light stew instead.
17 pprfc // May 12, 2008 at 8:09 pm
Please ban gp from commenting. This site is called Frum Satire, not Goyish Satire (or even worse, Reform).
18 Jewish Blogmeister // May 12, 2008 at 8:26 pm
Left Brooklyn,
No Kishka in the chulent …sorry
19 Mikeinmidwood // May 12, 2008 at 9:44 pm
Chulent is good for shabbas but during the week its just not the same.
20 Dave // May 13, 2008 at 12:45 am
But surely “Caesar asked Rabbi Jushua ben Channanya: Why do Shabbat foods smell so good? said he to him: We have a special spice, ’shabbat’ is its name…” (Talmud, Shabbat 119a)” - Eating cholent on a weekday is “chillul hachol”
21 Frum Punk // May 13, 2008 at 2:57 am
I actually don’t like cholent. Just can’t see the appeal in a glorified stew.
22 heshman // May 13, 2008 at 8:41 am
pprfc // May 12, 2008 at 8:09 pm
Please ban gp from commenting. This site is called Frum Satire, not Goyish Satire (or even worse, Reform).
Well actually I should have called it Jewish Satire- everyone is welcome- I am not a believer in affirmative action- but I am also a believer in being equal opportunity- all Jews and non Jews are welcome to comment, regardless of sexual orientation, creed, belief or non belief.
Personally I don’t even write satire- its more of Sarcasm, but the name Frumsatire flowed better then frumsarcastic.
23 Lilly // May 13, 2008 at 11:12 am
Nice Post
.
.
.
Why haven’t you written anything about YU/YU Guys? There is so much material ripe for satire in the YU community; you should take it up sometime!
24 urban gypsy // May 13, 2008 at 12:34 pm
The gas station serves cholent on Thursday night? This Torontonain is speechless :O
25 heshman // May 13, 2008 at 1:15 pm
Well in Toronto they have Sobeys- and with Sobeys you really don’t need anything else. What about the fully kosher Second Cup in the same plaza.
Or the zuchini pizza at Tov Li- yummy.
26 urban gypsy // May 13, 2008 at 2:17 pm
How do you know so much about Toronto, dude?
Yeah, I’m pretty partial to the zucchini pizza myself. Tov Li started having all these whacked-out toppings, like carrots and corn and stuff. My favorite is the pineapple-eggplant pizza. No, I am not kidding. It’s really good!
27 Chris_B // May 14, 2008 at 3:22 am
“all Jews and non Jews are welcome to comment”
Glad thats cleared up.
Oh and a little request to all y’all: since most commenters here use lots of frum slang, please watch for the typos, they make it that much harder for the few goyim here to keep up (^_^)
(this does not apply to heshman himself who has proven himself to have a chronic case of fat fingers)
28 Jacob da Jew // May 14, 2008 at 8:19 am
Flatbush Takeout on Coney sells Chulent from Thursday, I had a co-worker who ate Chulent Thursday, Friday, Shabbos and Sunday.
No kidding.
29 heshman // May 14, 2008 at 8:55 am
Urban Gypsy I get around- someone recently asked that I do a post all about my knowledge of key issues in “out of town” locations- I am still thinking of how to approach it.
30 Anonymous // May 14, 2008 at 6:17 pm
” besides for wanting to write the script for “two Jews one cholent” ”
OWWWWW! My head just exploded. Don’t do that reference without warning people next time.
Ewwwww…
Cholent is easy to understand for the non-frum crowd, or at least me.
Like mac and cheese, hotdog or baloney sandwiches, etc. it’s a comfort food for a segment of society and got that way because of ease of making it, relative widespread ease of consumption (most can eat it without acquiring a taste for it or getting sick from it), and longevity of circumstances where it fits, namely every single week until G-d says otherwise.
This may be Frum Satire, but the inside jokes aren’t as inside as you might imagine, especially conveyed by people who are exposed to and influenced by the secular world, thus changing the delivery a bit and making the inferences a bit more obvious than if they were all written in pure Yiddish, but even then, people are only human so there’s only so much variation.
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