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What do you think about Tipping?

The shabbos lunch discussion turned to tipping your server and it got heated. I found out what the word TIPS actually means, To Insure Prompt Service. Well what happens if the service was not prompt and your server was rude? What should you do? Do you leave a tip anyway, even though your food was not brought to you in a timely matter or your serving person treated you unkindly?

I personally hate the concept of tipping, I think its one of those things that is a necessary evil. Whats the point of leaving a good tip, if in most places they divide them up anyway- giving equal amounts of tips to employees regardless of worthiness- communism I say? Then again what if the person who is serving you gets less work then the other servers- is that fair?

Then of course the owner of the joint gets to make off with more profit, they charge you a certain fee for the food and then on top of this you have to pay more for it to be served to you, which would be great if the owner paid the servers a decent wage, but in the end they do not and the servers have to rely on the customers to collect the rest of their wages.

My friends mother was screaming about how she went to some fancy New York restaurant and the waitress sucked real bad. She was rude, and unfriendly and the food did not turn out to be what they ordered and so on. Unlike the government, people tend to blame the lowest person on the food chain in restaurants, they seldom think about how the cook may have gotten the order wrong or the fact other people are waiting for food. They just love to blame, so my friends mom left a note on the receipt. She also believes in leaving no tip if the service was horrible- I have to say I agree, when you tip you are paying for a service and if that service is not rendered, well, tough cookies.

Other folks tend to yell and make scenes, those people are interesting. Someone told me that you should leave them a quarter if it sucked that bad. In many kosher establishments they will include the tip in the order- because they know two things, Jews and canoes are different because canoes tip. They also know that the service in kosher restaurants stinks, especially the higher in heimishe totem pole status you get.

{ 31 comments… add one }
  • Ella February 7, 2008, 1:58 AM

    My ex-husband was a waiter for years, he said even if a waiter was really terrible you should leave him a tip and it was the rudest thing you could do not to leave one because they ususally make less than minimum wage. If someone is a terrible waiter they don’t deserve a penny! It’s not my fault they decided to go into waitressing!

  • Ella February 7, 2008, 2:00 AM

    BTW I used to be a cook in a restaurant and any time the waiter’s wrote down an order wrong they blamed us when the customer complained. No pity for them 🙂

  • heshman February 7, 2008, 2:36 AM

    Screw the waiters eh….

  • heshman February 7, 2008, 2:36 AM

    Or servers as they call them in todays day and age of political correctness.

  • Ella February 7, 2008, 2:42 AM

    My friend used to waitress and she made $500 in one night once. It was a big table of businessmen from out of town.

  • Anita February 7, 2008, 3:51 AM

    I always tip. If the service was bad, I just don’t tip as much. ( I try to give 10-15% depending on the type of restuarant).
    I was a waitress at my shul for the luncheons when I was younger (and I think thats easier than having each table ordering something specific), and I found alot of people annoying and rude. I can’t help but tip the waitors now.
    One lady was annoyed at us for not giving her food that we ran out off, and she said really loudly “Thats why they don’t get paid”…
    its like, there I was volunteering my time when I could have been sitting with my family and being served (I wasn’t one of those students that needed mitzvah/chesed/gamach hours) and she was offending me for something I had no control over.

    So now I tip the waitors…maybe they just had a bad day and if I find that a restuarant consistently has bad service, I just don’t go back to it!

  • heshman February 7, 2008, 4:07 AM

    I agree, I happen to feel bad for waiters, but I dislike the policy of splitting tips- its too Marxist for me.

  • Rachel February 7, 2008, 4:18 AM

    dude, not everyone splits up tips-how common is that really? back in the day when i was a waitress (like 5 yrs ago), we all kept our own. i agree with Anita-ppl should tip at least 10% no matter what, considering that waiters typically make much less than minimum wage

  • heshman February 7, 2008, 4:28 AM

    I happen to tip like 20% and people say its too much, but if I had a ten dollar meal I feel cheap leaving a buck.

    Wow if back in the day is 5 years ago I am getting old and I am not old at all.

  • s(b.) February 7, 2008, 5:11 AM

    If you can swing it, 20% is not too much. People depend on that to live. Waiters/servers make less than half of minimum wage. Tips haven’t been split in years, as far as I know (not sure how it is in high up the heimish pole restaurants, though).

  • Rachel February 7, 2008, 6:31 AM

    what i meant was 10% at the least-as in, if you had crappy service. otherwise, i agree with 15-20 for sure. by the way, i say 5 yrs ago is back in the day because at that point i was in high school and since then i have graduated from college and gotten a full time job, so it seems like another lifetime already.

  • heshman February 7, 2008, 4:27 PM

    What I don’t understand is how the owners can get away paying less than the minn wage and still charge an arm and a leg for food depending on us to pick up the tab- that is what pisses me off.

    Thats what I love about Israel, in many places you can take the food out and they will give you a percentage off for not using their servers.

  • Left Brooklyn and never looked back February 7, 2008, 7:25 PM

    Hesh, what are your thoughts on tipping at a topless bar/club?

  • Ella February 7, 2008, 8:11 PM

    Waiters get paid less than minimum wage + tips or if they did not make enough tips the owners have to pay them minimum wage. They don’t just make less than minimum wage if they don’t get tips.

  • heshman February 8, 2008, 1:14 AM

    Well I have never been to a strip club or a topless bar, I know with my back round it sounds farfeteched and in fact almost every one of my yeshiva friends is a strip club attendee, but the throwing away money factor for stuff I can probably download for free just makes no sense.

    But as for tipping, I think if in normal restaurants the waiters sat on your lap and gave you a show it may be a different story, they don’t and sometimes they don’t even bring your food in a timely manner.

  • nuch a looser February 8, 2008, 12:55 PM

    hesh – don’t accuse EVERYONE from ur yeshiva days as a “club attendee”….

  • heshman February 8, 2008, 3:44 PM

    I think by everyone they realize I don’t mean everyone. But unfortunately I do mean a lot of guys, and guys you wouldn’t even expect to be have attended at least once- guys who learn and teach and dorm councilor.

  • suitepotato February 8, 2008, 9:41 PM

    I prefer to tip if I have any cash to do so, every time no matter how good or bad they are as a show of solidarity from someone who has done his share of thankless work for next to no pay. Nowadays, I write in a tip on the electronic slip when I use a debit card. My exception is the local Chinese place whose tip is that I go there almost totally exclusively and recommend them for take-out to everyone I know in town. I’ve gotten them so many customers, they should pay me for marketing. What can I say? The food is good.

  • CLB February 10, 2008, 6:13 AM

    My grandmother tells me when she goes out to eat with her friends they all just leave a dollar! I guess they don’t realize times have changed, but i thought it was pretty funny

  • mazeartist February 10, 2008, 11:15 PM

    As a licensed tour guide, I depend on tips to supplement my meager income. I try applying to other jobs, but without connections, my chances of securing a good job are minimal.

    From my experience, I have noticed that if a customer is determined not to tip, you can sing, dance, and even strip- and they still won’t tip. Sometimes, you get a generous couple who drops you a twenty, but often you have customers asking you for change instead.

    American Jews usually leave some tips, Israelis never tip. I suppose Israel needs the money more than me. You can give thme th best jokes in Hebrew and they still won’t tip. An Israeli tourist once hugged me- but did not tip.

  • heshman February 12, 2008, 3:34 AM

    Hey mazeartist love the demographic tip breakdown, it would interesting to see a study about who is most likely to tip or not to.

  • abandoning eden February 13, 2008, 2:04 AM

    you realize most waiters earn below minimum wage on the assumption that they will be making it up in tips, right? and if you tip them nothing, then they are essentially being paid like $3 an hour to serve you?

    I tip at least 15% if it’s horrible service and as much as 40% if it’s great.

    That’s probably because I used to live on tips, when I delivered chinese for a kosher resturaunt in monsey. Jews ARE the worst tippers in the world…seriously, the more religious (I dealt with all, MO, Black hat, chassidish), the worst the tip. I once had a person hand me a $20 for a $19.80 order and ask for change! I didn’t have change (everyone always rounds up or down to singles), and they were like “oh well, i guess we should tip you”. 20 freakin cents! And I was earning $5 (less than minimum wage at the time) per hour, and wasn’t even paid for gas for MY car which I drove all the deliveries with. Yeah.

  • heshman February 13, 2008, 3:18 AM

    I think that you are all missing the point- why do the owners of these restaurants get away with charging an arm and a leg and then asking us to pay the help. I don’t pay the help at Best Buy or TJ Maxx for finding me and getting me the right stuff.

  • Powermetal Head February 13, 2008, 3:26 AM

    Having done kiddushes for about a year in this community, I’ve gotten tipped ONCE. I don’t do it every week now because too many Baal simchas have complained about the stupidest things just to get out of paying the caterer for the waiters altogether. Things like “the waiters didn’t re-setup all the shuls tables after the kiddush or stack 200 chairs.” Thanks asshole, now I won’t get paid for my job even though you’re describing the janitor’s. I never understood how Shabbos is Doche Tipping. Thats become the best excuse. You cant tip on shabbos! Oh yeah? If you’re paying the caterer before or after, why not tip before or after? Same shit, they don’t want to tip. Shabbos is the excuse which is no excuse.

  • Misanthrope February 13, 2008, 6:24 AM

    Jews don’t tip, the stereotype is true. When I confront some of them as to why, they have lame excuses like “we’re paying for the meal” or “why should I have to pay for the waiter’s salary.”

  • heshman February 13, 2008, 4:05 PM

    Have any of you seen that whole rant about tipping in some movie Quintin Tarrentino did.

  • Leah February 13, 2008, 5:57 PM

    That would be Reservoir Dogs:

    Nice Guy Eddie: C’mon, throw in a buck!
    Mr. Pink: Uh-uh, I don’t tip.
    Nice Guy Eddie: You don’t tip?
    Mr. Pink: Nah, I don’t believe in it.
    Nice Guy Eddie: You don’t believe in tipping?
    Mr. Blue: You know what these chicks make? They make shit.
    Mr. Pink: Don’t give me that. She don’t make enough money that she can quit.
    Nice Guy Eddie: I don’t even know a fucking Jew who’d have the balls to say that. Let me get this straight: you don’t ever tip?
    Mr. Pink: I don’t tip because society says I have to. All right, if someone deserves a tip, if they really put forth an effort, I’ll give them something a little something extra. But this tipping automatically, it’s for the birds. As far as I’m concerned, they’re just doing their job.
    Mr. Blue: Hey, our girl was nice.
    Mr. Pink: She was okay. She wasn’t anything special.
    Mr. Blue: What’s special? Take you in the back and suck your dick?
    Nice Guy Eddie: I’d go over twelve percent for that.

  • heshman February 13, 2008, 6:17 PM

    Thank you Leah that was very appreciated.

  • Kat June 9, 2008, 1:17 AM

    For a $29 lunch between me and a friend, I tipped the waiter $5….he looked absolutely disgusted.
    If I get horrible service, there’s no way I’d give a tip…I once ordered a bowl of soup in a restaurant, waited 30 minutes, and it came cold, and the place only had 2 other customers. How much you think I gave that waitress??

  • ithinksecretlyeveryguywantstosleepwithsarahpalin September 17, 2008, 10:58 PM

    I am a secret over tipper every so often when I know no one is looking and the little look you get from the server is F A N T A S T I C
    even if you don’t get a look….you know they are grateful.

    one of the most awful thing is when you notice someone not tipping what they should or as much as you….i normally leave, or get out of the cab first so I don’t have to witness the cheapness and therefore judge the person.


  • Anonymous May 6, 2013, 12:27 PM

    What about bartenders ? How much should they be tipped?

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