All this talk about Chuck Norris gave me this idea:
I can remember vividly when I was a kid staying up late on some random night to watch TV, at about 1 in the morning or so, there was never much on. I used to try my hand at Bevis and Butthead, and maybe some random My So Called Life episodes, when that got boring(despite the fact that a young Claire Danes was the hottest thing alive) and it always did because I never could understand what was so funny about Anthrax music videos that entire cartoons were devoted to it, I would whip out my trusty remote and begin to flick around.
In the days before solid blocks of Seinfeld and Fresh Prince reruns there was not much on besides Matlock, Murder She Wrote and shows that talked about migratory water fowl. While I may find shows talking about migratory waterfowl interesting in my adulthood, I could never stomach long drawn out shows with a Ben Stein- like voice droning on in the back round.
Then I would turn a channel and there would be Chuck Norris in this little tight muscle shirt with short shorts, helping out a good-looking-at-first-glance-before-you-notice-the-muscle-boobs-and-veiny-legs-woman. They would always be somewhere in California exercising by a pool on the amazing Bow flex and for some reason I would sit mesmerized by the scene. Maybe in back of my mind I was hoping that it would turn into some pornographic exercise session, or I had enough of Jessica Fletcher and her curly hair that always looked like a wig- but I could always count on Chucks part time job as Bow flex user to keep me entertained.
The only other infomercials that I truly love are the over priced Time Life Music Collections that apparently cannot be bought anywhere else besides by dialing the 800-number flashing on the bottom o your screen. I have never actually bought anything off an infomercial, but I am sure countless Midwestern housewives going through tough marriages have sat and watched as Dion and the Bellmonts sang runaround sue and remembered their high school prom and once the advertisement offered a free life time supply of mini paper clips if ordered within the next 15 minutes, did they jump up from their sagging, plastic covered, green couch and frantically dial the number fearing that since they were not in the eastern time zone they would not receive those colored paper clips, that would eventually kill one of her kids through a choking accident.
The thing I liked best about these CD set offerings was that they showed you what all the artists looked like. I had always wondered who was the voice behind My Girl or what Roy Orbison Looked like. They also showed you old time concert footage- which was even better when it was a disco offering- nothing gets me in the mood of dancing like some lines of coke, parachute pants, a few Afros and Kc and the Sunshine band.
I look forward to hearing about your late night TV and infomercial experiences, in the comments section.
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{ 26 comments… read them below or add one }
my favorite has always been girl gone wild infomercials
I hear ya man, although I haven’t really watched TV so much in the last ten years or so.
How about New Square Girls Gone Wild?
lol when i cant fall asleep its chips salsa and infomercials but i’m trying to figure out if the reason that urs arent ringing a bell is age difference or my not having cable or i just plain gotta get out more-or rather stay in more. i’m familiar with the five peice fruit blender set (fabulous smoothies in under five minutes all in the privacy of your own kitchen!) and the proactive ones that never ever end…oh and the magic vegetable dicer
when i had the game show network they would play the match game late at night. that is an amazing show.
the time life music commercials are always a hit. i mean, you can sing along with the song for 10 seconds!
ok idk where to post this irrelevent thing so i figured my best bet is here on ur latest post-
so i was dying laughing from ur videos so i sent it to a friend and she then found this other one of urs which i just saw and the funny thing is WE ARE the ones u need to produce that video u describe. it doesnt even needa be a parody just tape our lives and ull have ur circa and ur J and ur hott guy over the mechitza…i would so force my friends to be in one but as u sed theres that gettin kicked outta skewl aspect. but wow it’d be hysterical we would go all out.
My mom for sure has bought at least 2 Time Life collections from the 60′s and seems to always play them when I’m home from college.
whoops that last comment that sez math girly was really ME- there is something messed up abt this, it puts a name in the name box automatically and obviously not the rite one
ooooh sorry flatbush gal, i’m not trying to steal your identity!
I love the ones with the super-electric-wheelchairs, or something, that they show these old people, who now are “seeing the world!” at the grand canyon, etc.
2 words: HAIR FLOWBY
Yes and Mullets
How about those commercials about trade school?
Lincoln tech, katherine gibbons
>
i dont know if those are really infomercials but in that case theres also the chubb institute one and that other one that promises culinary success oh yeah and the one that promises a “rewarding career in massage therapy”
My late nite TV experiences involved either comedy or old Nick at Nite shows.
You mean like Devry were serious about success, or jumpstart your career with training from ITT Tech?
I remember those infomercials with the gooey stuff and the stick you made bubbles out of and they claimed they wouldnt pop!! I wanted to try it out so badly!!
And speaking of nick at night, I loved I dream of jeanie, I love lucy and bewitched. Oh, and the cosby show was awesome!! Uch, now there is a buncha crap on TV!! Dont watch much anymore!
Chuck Norris doesn’t sleep.
He waits.
Good blog, but Chuck Norris advertises the Total Gym, not the Bow Flex, the Bow Flex is by some tanned guy and girl who obviously pump free weights and oil their bodies prior to the commercial. I’m with you on Chuck having some hotties usually Christie Brinkley. Good Stuff.
Chuck Norris in da man- he is responsible for many nights entertainment when I couldn’t sleep, thank for you for such a tribute.
the “magic bullet” kitchen appliance is by far the best infomercial around-it’s full of bad acting and cheesy characters, and i’ve seen it more than five times
What does the magic bullet do?
it can do any job in 10 seconds…or less
http://www.infomercial-hell.com/magic-bullet/
scroll to the bottom for video clips; you won’t be disappointed
Thank you Rachel
i used to watch those spanish telemundos for hours at night when i was bored. the beauty of it being you were able to follow multiple storylines without knowing a word of spaish – classic
Ah Chuck is da man- I forgot about this post. Thank you for rehashing it Stacy.
I tried to find the video just now and can’t. Ah telemundo- I watched that stuff when I was taking spanish- it was painful- although the women are always hot.
No freaking way. I’m absolutely disagreeing. Next time when you post something think about reaction of readers.