I Cannot Count the number of times that I have witnessed a non Jew come into a kosher pizza store and try and order something that was not available. It always starts the same way, two guys, they are always guys for some reason- usually who are working somewhere in the neighborhood. They will always order a meatball sub, or pizza with some sort of sausage on it. The person behind the counter- usually an Israeli or Bucharian with a very thick accent- will always say that they do not have meat in the store and then as if they were deaf- the two non Jews will nod and say “that’s great, give me a pepperoni slice.”
Usually at this point one of the Hispanics working behind the counter for below minimum wage will try and communicate to them what is going on. The non Jews will shrug their shoulders and start getting agitated as to why on earth a pizza store in New York would not serve meat. They huff and may swear under their breaths and then they will order something else.
It is always a scene though, and depending on where you are located- it could be very entertaining. In the frummy neighborhoods they elicit stares from both children and parents as the kids give them their best Boro Park Stare, while the parents tell the children to stay far away from goyim as if they were all a bunch of drug dealing pedophiles.
In the modern neighborhoods a good Samaritan sensing the trouble by lack of English spoken by the Mexican pizza workers and the scruffy looking Israeli working the counter will jump in and give a quick rundown on the laws of kasharus to a bunch of bewildered and pissed off construction workers- for some reason the non-Jew who enters the pizza store is always a construction worker with tattoos and a wife beater on. The good Samaritan will always go back to his table and discuss in detail exactly how he diffused the situation.
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{ 35 comments… read them below or add one }
so true, you’re hilarious! i used to bring my non jewish friends just to trigger this exact scene. no matter how much they understood me and my crazyness they still somehow went through this each time!
“Good Samaritan”? You’re looking at her.
my sec’y swears they’re all boring holes in her back when she goes into the local kosher bagel store
is it all her imagination?
Isnt it odd the amount of New Testament terms we Jews use in daily conversation like “good Samaratin” and “Prodigal Son” ?
I used to pride myself on being the recipient of the BPS. Now I just look like I fit in. I’m like secret agent woman.
I was recently on a bus in Yerushalayim where I witnessed some kid from the heart of Meah Shearim(MS) staring like mad at an Ethiopian dude who got on the bus with a yarmy on his head. MS Kid kept trying not to look but he was clearly shocked and needs to get out more. I blame his parents.
I also watched as Ethiopian dude dropped some piece of paper out of his bag and onto the floor. It wasn’t clear whether this was accidental or on purpose. A “frum-look” guy (the whole chassidish garb) walked past him just a couple of seconds later, stepping directly on the paper as he went.
That is the kind of behavior that gives “frummie” communities a bad name. That guy should examine his middot.
As a ps, Ethiopian Dude picked up the paper and stuck it back in his bag.
And just to add another Israel bus story for the fun of it, I was once waiting for the 15 bus when I saw a homeless guy pee into a paper cup (he arranged himself so that he was facing a wall, sorta more tznius although public urination is assur) and then as the bus came, he took the cup, splashed the urine out into the street in front of the bus, stuck the paper cup in his shopping bag, and got on the bus. EW.
Why is it that non-Jews never seem to patronize kosher restaurants- do they automatically notice the price is way higher for the lack of decor that usually comes with most kosher places save for the really nice ones.
Kosher pizza stores on the hand are similarly priced and look similar, save for the stacks of Jewish Sentinals sitting about and those free torah tape samples.
I pee in public all the time, though I have only gotten caught once or twice. I open up two car doors and make a little urinal for myself. What exactly is one supposed to do if they are in the city and have to go real bad. You cannot just park anywhere you know. Public urination may be assur, but holding it in is also against halacha.
What about getting your kosher food in a
none-kosher bag like my co-worker?
http://jacobdajew.blogspot.com/2007/07/mendels-pizza-serves-food-in-burger.html
What about going behind a bush? Your point is valid but women do not have that luxury.
I can remember one such case that stands out in my head. It was on 13th avenue (bp of course) and two men came into a milchig place. One asked “Why the hell the place didn’t have G-d Damn chicken”
I think the stares were bypassed and people just grabbed their children and with their hands over their ears, went across the street to another place.
Sara I have also noticed that whenever non-Jews come in they happen to be the type IE construction workers that use such foul language without thinking if children are around. And for some that may be their only real life encounter with a goy. No wonder they have a bad name.
After urination, you’re supposed to wash your hands before Asher Yatzar.
This pizza store situation reminds me of a time when I went out to eat at a dairy place with three Jewish friends and a goy. The goy went to a nearby meat place, then returned with the meat to sit and eat with us. I felt uneasy, fearing that the meat may end up on the dairy restaurant’s tray!
The other three friends are not Orthodox, and couldn’t understand why I was so worried.
I have it the other way around- I would be sitting with my homemade tuna sandwich while my buddies were chowing down on Chicken Parms while sitting in Wendy’s
well where i come from theres such a mix of people its usually not a big deal if a non jews comes into a kosher establishment and orders somethin and if there was a sort of “boro park stare” involved the non jewish patron would take no notice since chicagos packed with weirdos jewish or not
I was catching a ride up to Albany with my then roommate and we stopped at some pizza and falafel place in Monsey called “Pitaland”. He’s not Jewish, but knows perfectly well that no meat would be sold in the store. But, a stereotypical construction worker came in with a wife-beater and work-boots and goes to the pizza counter.
He says “What’s that sausage?”
The guy behind the counter with the thick accent says “No. Eggplant”
The construction worker says “Whatever, it looks good. I’ll have two slices.”
When the construction worker went to pay at the cash register, he still referred to it as “sausage”.
Hesh, I stopped going to fast food restaurants long before I started to keep kosher since I always get some sort of eye irritation. Maybe it’s all the salt they use.
Back when I was in college in Rochester, NY (before I kept kosher) I took a few non-Jewish friends out to Fox’s kosher deli (back when it was kosher, not even sure if it’s still in business now). Before the waitress came to take our order, I asked what they were going to get. One of my friends kept looking up and down the menu, and finally said “All I want is a ham and cheese sandwich, but I can’t find it anywhere!” I had to explain why it was wrong on two counts.
And thanks for the link to the Boro Park Stare… my wife comes from BP and I’ve been the recipient of many a stare… especially the two times I rode my motorcycle up.
First of all DUDE!!! I went to college in Rochester NY.
Yes Foxes is still in business and no its not kosher, though I feel like back in the day they used to exist in the downtown Joseph street area. Now that you mention it I am thinking of doing a post all about how kosher style yet non-kosher delis are way more Jewish then places like Chap-a-Nosh and Big Fleishigs- and the modern youth of Jewry never get to eat old fashioned Jew food anymore. Famous, Ednas, Ratners and 2nd ave deli are all gone leaving us to hang on to memories of borsht, blintez and ruben sandwiches through Essex on Coney and Fancy Shmancy milchig places that serve more sushi then Perogies.
“Why is it that non-Jews never seem to patronize kosher restaurants”
b/c it is more expensive and often not appetizing. on more than one occasion i’ve had a non-jew (or non-kosher jew) comment to me about how disgusting kosher pizza is.
Why is it that non-Jews never seem to patronize kosher restaurants
“Ednas”
ah, good memories.
“Essex on Coney”
ugh.
Speaking of Essex, anyone know they closed down?
rats? (I just made that up.)
They had a fire.
seriously? i’ve never scene a ‘goy’ in the pizza store causing a scene they usually seem like they’ve been doing it for years and know all the jew-rules. and i live a second a way from like j2 on m, pizza time, netanya, j2 on J, shalom’s, benny’s, dagan, chadash, pizza world, pizza planet, pizza mizza, pizza nosh, kosher hut…heyy that was fun
and i always feel weird eating my kosher icky sandwhich in a traif fast food place like if were traveling and need table, chairs, straws, salt packets, coffee stirrers -i know moochers…!
New York City restaurant inspections Be warned, you may get nauseous reading about some of your favorite place. By the way, 28 or more points is a failure.
You know whats funny when I lived in Rochester, all my non-Jewish friends and I would go down to NY to ride the streets and skateparks and they all raved about how good kosher pizza was.
I wanted to say something but I seem to be at rare loss of words. Maybe my empty belly is getting in the way of my brain- and I hope that is what is happening with the rest of y’all. I guess, if I strain hard, if i’m really desperate for a laugh, if i was 5 , I could maybe understand why it might be funny to laugh at the situation described here. Hmmm, but I hope that I am better than that… I try not to laugh at or stare down people who are ignorant of my beliefs because god knows there are plenty of things that I know little about. I know this is the kind of conversation that happens among ourselves all the time, “haha, look at the silly goy.” but I don’t think that any of you realize how prejudiced and ignorant you sound or realize that these conversations are out there for the world to read and judge us by. I really hope they are not- I really would not want orthodox judaism or my beliefs to be lumped in with uhhh stereotypes. Yeah, you guys sound like stereotypes and it’s embarassing. And no I’m not self-hating. I love my people and it really breaks my heart when I hear such ignorant views…Seriously, i hope you guys are all in high school. Then maybe it would be ok, maybe you’ll grow up into a good jew, or at least try to be one, and understand that it implies being a good person foremost and is so much more than a birthright. I guess I found those words afterall.
Thank for your insightful comment, albeit I highly doubt any non-Jews read this blog being that my readership drops during every shabbos and holiday but thats besides the point.
Its funny because the rest of this blog is much more offensive and you picked the one post that I felt would never be critiqued. I was making fun of “the silly goy” in a completely non-offensive way.
Or maybe we Jews should be offended since the goy is ignorant of basic Jewish law. Would that same non-Jew be ignorant of Muslim law and order pork in a Halal establishment? Yes playing devils advocate poorly is my game.
Oh and most of my readers are not in high school. They are folks who sit in their cubicles looking for something to do instead of mine sweeper and solitaire.
At least you bashed the post and not my spelling, I do give you props for that one.
Yeah- I am so over your spelling. I am sticking to content from henceforth.
So non-jews dont read your blog? I can count at least a few at my office who have.
I am personally not offended when non-jews do not know or understand many of the details or even the fundamentals of Judaism. Why should they? If you havent been exposed to the jewish religion, why would you know?? I dont know the details of catechism for example, and I dont think that would offend a catholic. What is offensive is when people are unwilling to learn or do not meet others with the respect.
I guess deep down I knew that most of your readers were all grown-up. I wish they had more stimulating jobs , or at least more stimulating views. Out of the dregs people!
Did you know that %80 of Kosher food is Consumed by non-jews?
In some upscale gentile neighborhoods, it’s the norm to buy kosher food.
When I was about 12 – i was working at Kol Tuv Pizza in Monsey when this happened:
(I remember it very clearly)
NY State Trooper: Hey boy, how come you don’t got no pepperoni pizza?
Me: Well, we Strictly follow Kosher Dietetic laws which forbids us from eating Meat & dairy together.
NYST: So your telling me that No pepperoni and no cheeseburgers? Wow….poor you!
Me: Oh well, at least we got gefilta fish!
NYST: I never caught one of them things yet, they only swim in Israeli waters?
Me: *Laughing*
NYST: hey, boy! Look he is putting cheese on that pie!!!!
Me: Ok, so?
NYST: I just thought maybe you should call the rabbi!
Me: why?
NYST: Well the pizza dough is obviously not dairy and he is putting cheese on top of it!
Me: Do you mind if i excuse myself?
NYST: Sure, go call that rabbi.
Me: *went to the bathroom and played snakes on my cellphone*
Dude thank you for the comment very funny. The gefilte fish thing btw is so old school.
but on the upside, I always consider it a good sign when non-jews frequent my usual kosher joints. hell, if i could go to famous ray’s theres no way in hell i’d settle for a kosher joint unless its REALLY good. like my beloved Megabite on 38th street was a good mix of jews and non-jews because it was the best pizza in ny….before it was shut down of course. probably a health code violation.
I’m not from New York- am a Midwesterner (no I don’t ride a horse to work) but frankly most Kosher restaurants just don’t look clean. I’m sure they are inspected as per the law- but most are filthy, at least the pizza and “faster-food types”. I’ve eaten some of the Upper West Side trendier places- they are great- clean and good food, albeit expensive.
I speak for many….religious jews are sooooo unfriendly to non-jews. They avoid your eyes and your presence. It’s really too bad…reaching out is always a risk but rude & unfriendly acts just perpetuate bad feelings Me…I have no religion and my experience is that all religions are extremely exclusionary…
Maybe you have a biased perception of religion and have no idea what you are viewing. Do you know that many ultra orthodox men will not look a woman in the eyes. Or that some people think that looking someone in the face is not respectful?
This doesn’t only happen with non-Jews. I distinctly remember being in a hotel in Tel Aviv and a kid who was obviously a Reform jew visiting with his family ordered an omelet with ham. In a second he realized his mistake, but it must have been pretty embarrassing.
I got yelled at by an atheist friend in a kosher pizza store for making fun of him calling it Jewish pizza by saying it’s made of real Jews. He took me aside and said I shouldn’t make jokes about Jews in ovens. As if the oven were even a thought in my mocking him implying food has a religion. It was certainly a reality check. Nobody else in the store seemed to give my comment a second thought. Who the heck would think I would be serious about pizza made out of Jews being sold in a kosher pizza shop? Who puts people on pizza? It’s a bizarre world, sometimes.
Goy here, offended…? No, call me goy, call me late for dinner, but please don’t call me to eat gefilta fish! I will however endeavor to relish the limited kosher I’ve tried, the venerable bagel, though it be from that great beloved physicist, what a mind…
Love
The New Lurker