So for those of you who don’t know, frumster has this nifty little feature that allows you to see who looked at your profile and the last time it was looked at. So I have a circulation of girls who are obviously trying to get my attention by constantly being the last person to have seen my profile. Do any of you have this problem?
For instance one girl whom I rejected last year emailed me again and to be nice I conversed and then told her I was not interested, she didn’t budge and keeps emailing me and looking at my profile.
Then of course you have the girls that change their profiles to suite yours. I had this one girl whom I had gotten an email from, go ahead and change her entire profile to suite me. What is the deal man? I mean if you’re looking for your husband, shouldn’t he be for you, and you should present yourself honestly?
My number one stalker on frumster is a girl who I met at the only singles shabbaton I ever went to. It may have been my overjoyed response at her being a school librarian which most normal guys would find boring, I myself am crazy and tend to be overjoyed in awkward situations like shabbatons and went a little overboard. Well for the past 4 months she has been looking at my profile at least 3-5 times per week. I never change it and she probably realized that by now, but in her desperate state of singledom is holding onto any chance I may message her. I have never done those, I simply email and never hear responses back and I take it as it comes, usually ranting about how girls who open the message could at least send a reject letter. I can see if they read it and most of the time they do not reply.
What about those girls that contact you on frumster with messages like. What happened to your old picture with the hair? I have gotten a few of those, so you looked at my profile a bunch of times, or you casually saw it as you were browsing- which isn’t very likely since you can see which profiles you already looks at. Are you contacting me because you are interested but have no idea how to say that in plain English. These girls were usually folks I looked at once a long time ago but passed over for various reasons. Why are thy contacting me if no other reason thej boredom and trying to get some guy to chat them up. I usually answer their question and then kindly say I am not interested. Of course this leads to the famous question, WHY? Why do I have to answer that question, there could be a million reasons and most of them the girl does not want to hear. Your nasty is the most popular, or you have absolutely nothing in common with me.
In my open mindedness I decided to puruse the art of shidduch dating in every possible way, this means utilizing this blog, craigslist and facebook. I have gone out on 4 dates with one girl who used to comment quite a bit on this blog, but facebook is actually a great shidduch resource and I think it could do real well if people only took it seriously.
Last week I received a number of a girl in Baltimore who was supposed to be outdoorsy- that is all anyone every hooks me up with- although- the girls are rarely into the outdoors and are more the types like this one that went on summer camping trips with mom and dad- definitely not my type. So I call this girl up and within 6 minutes I realized she wasn’t for me. Meanwhile on facebook some random girl friended me and I assumed it was a blog person- although I had just made a Frum Satire facebook account to separate the random folks from actual friends. So this girl claims to be doing a research project and so on.
Motzoi shabbos I receive this message from the girl randomly friended me:
So, it would be interested to know what questions the shadchan really asked you that were so ridiculous. But if you’re okay with Dixie cups with nativity scenes on them I suppose you have no problem with girls who visit Mormon temples and keep Christian literature around the apartment for light reading. In any case, my stalking (I assume you’re smart enough to have figured that out by now) is done and I can unfriend you now 
Of course I had no idea what this girl was talking about, I looked at her pictures and immediately realized that she was roommates with my potential shidduch date. Crazy stalkers eh!!
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{ 16 comments… read them below or add one }
i have no idea what that girl said, or what youre saying, sorry
but my comment is.. i realize you want a real outdoorsy girls but isnt it possible that someone is “outdoorsy” without necessarily being into extreme hiking, extreme biking, extreme camping, extreme bug eating, extreme blogging and all the other extremes you sound like youre into?
maybe try to look for potential.. i can think of a lot more girls who will be glad to grow in that direction, with your help ,than girls who are already like that.
I may have to do a post explaining my position on the comment you just made. Here is my deal, I really am not looking for marriage unless it rocks my socks, I understand the whole compromise thing and there are things I am willing to compromise on. Passion, outdoors and intellectual capacity are not them.
The girls who tend to be passionate and carefree happy go lucky types dont necessarily need to be so heavily into the outdoors. I have met girls who were outdoorsy by any means and still my style.
I was thinking of just asking the one question which for most seems really stupid but for folks similar to my thinking actually agree with.
What type of music they like? I am actually going to do a post on this theory soon.
Great post. I actually wanted to name and shame some Facebook stalkers, so I guess I’ll do it now. lol.
Here are my Facebook stalkers: One frum guy, who claims to be a haredi from CA, he has “I only wanna be friends” in his profile and keeps messaging girls. If you define yourself as haredi, you don’t have “girlfriends”. Later he asks them if he can call them, he also invited them to stay with him. I guess he thinks he is mack daddy. I know about girls cause some girls messaged me about him. I guess he thinks all girls are naive and are up in his game. I think he got the message that I won’t be on his jockey team.
The other facebook idiot was some guy from Passaic, NJ, married, supposedly Jewish Orthodox looking to meet girls. He sent me this message “Wassup babe?” I answered with “What do you want?” He never answered me again. So much for the idiots.
As far as Frumster is concerned there I had my group of stalkers just like the girls you described, they would not understand a “no”. One guy I talked to once, went up to people I know and through them he found out my address and my phone number. Now that’s first class stalking. I am SO glad I am not on Frumster now, like one of your blog fans said, it’s the extension of the Bellevue Mental Ward.
Fourth line, second paragraph should read “he invites them to stay with him.”
Great post Heshy! I couldnt agree more. Im beginning to think that dating websites are populated solely by people with severe mental imbalances or rude rude scum of the earth types. As a 24yr old single guy, shouldnt I find it weird that 49 yr old divorcees are checking out my profile? Or that girls who describe themselves as caring fail to reply to the messages they read? I think the music test is a really good idea! Waht do you think about setting up some kind of group where young people like us who feel frustrated by the shidduch system and are looking for something a little different can get in contact with each other? Facebook group maybe? What do you think? With one of the mandatory filtering questions being ‘what music do you listen to?’
Heshy,
You know why I love this post? Because you can be sure your “Stalkers” have read it. I wonder what their reaction would be. Would they comment in complete agreement with you, or would they find a nice rooftop and take up the hobby of sniping?
What was the deal with that mormon temple e-mail? Geez, It sucks that you have to deal such crap. Although, a good laugh is always nice.
On a serious note, most people just don’t understand the attraction to the outdoors.
There are girls out there who do though. I grew up in a city full of them.
Still, you should give some thought to your stalkers… Some of them may be great trackers, sensing their prey without being seen or noticed. Plus, they probably have some great toys like night vision binoculars equipped with an mp3 player, and maybe a portable tv for when they get stuck in the dreadful wilderness. just a thought!
Good Luck with all that!
I am sure the facebook stalker read it- but the frumster stalkers I highly doubt- unless they were smart enough to google my information in my profile they would never know about this blog.
It is stealing to put information in your frumster that would allow the person to contact you without paying for an account. However if someone were to google say, frum + hiker, mountain biker, kayaker- they would inevitably come up with one of my blogs and therefore read this- but thats highly unlikely.
Don’t you find it at least a little bit flattering to have girls who are lusting creepily over you?
Of course its flattering- as long as they are hot!!!
Hesh, I think that my frum married Facebook stalker reads your blog. He changed his location from Passaic NJ to Central NJ and now his hometown is Lakewood. Too funny. lol.
is their really a facebook stalker system where you can see who can visit your profile?
No that feature is only on Frumster, facebook has made it surprisingly tough to stalk someone unless you can somehow be friends with them without them knowing.
Frumster on the other hand is a wonder for stalking and perfect for stalking your date that sucked.
so, what kind of music DO you like?
Music huh? Thats a tough one- have you ever read my music posts. I have a very wide and varied taste.
In no particular order. Ska, Bluegrass, Classic Country, Classic Jazz, Funk, disco, technical jazz, groove, soul, classic rock, hair metal, Bangra, Anything Arabic, Gregorian Chants, doowop, oldies, punk, progressive metal, jam band, hippie, pshycadelic and American Classical Composers (copland, Bernstein etc..)
i havent read them yet–i just discovered your blog/youtube within the last month…but let me just say that i LOVE ska. and i love any music with banjos in it. and i really love big band swing music. and i’m kind of a sucker for college acapella (guilty pleasure)
I have never heard college accapella described as pleasurable- although its interesting- but to each their own.
A new discovery eh, you have to dig deep but there is loads of stuff in here. I would tell you to start off with the best of stuff on the sidebar and then search through the archives- the random posts thing is also cool and will change every time the page is loaded.