Mr. Ice Horse has alerted me to a dillema- 600-1000 hits a day on this site and only 51 votes- people you are really disappointing me. Please click this link and vote Frum Satire- the best in humor blog. My roommate came home last night and said they had said hallel for yom aatzmaut in shull- that prompted this post.
When I worked for the State Legislature I had to take a bunch of cultural diversity and sexual harassment type seminars in honor of the state bureaucratic mess. One of the activities was to name a certain group that people tend to have preconceived notions about and just blurt out things that came to mind immediately. So Asians would be mentioned and things like slanty eyes, chicken and broccoli and dry cleaners and samurai would come to mind. After this exercise we had to dispel our stereotypes all of which were true but in the politically correct madness we could never admit this.
This brings me to my thoughts on different Jewish stereotypes within the frum community. When you mention black hat or modern orthodox- certain things come to mind immediately- then after you gather your thoughts you may be able to sub-categorize these groups into things like modern orthodox machmir and yeshivish but with it. I have done many posts trying to bring you all the stereotypes and ways to judge different categories. I now bring you the excersize as if the state was giving the class on cultural diversity.
What are the first things that come to mind when someone says he/she is black hat or modern?
Modern Orthodox:
Knitted yarmulkes with the wearers name sewed into it, women in pants without head coverings, shorts on shabbos, learnng on peoples lawns on summer shabbosim, coed schools and camps, Israeli sounding names, women passing babies to men over the mechitza, women and men kissing each other on the cheek for greetings, NCSY, yeshiva university, shomer negia shrugged off as religious fanaticisms, playing ball in the park on shabbos, Vacation Village and Fire Island, Ramaz, Frisch, Yeshiva Flatbush, Moshava, Morasha, Stone, Mesorah, Hillel, Masad, eating milchigs out when away from home, action hero yarmulkes, hallel on yom haatzmaut, candle vigils for yom hashoa, either really fancy suites or khakis and a white polo for shull, low see through mechitza’s, shull sanctuaries void of black hats, excessive shull talking, yeshiva proms, upper west side, Teanack-NJ, Silver Springs-MD, Beachwood-OH, West Bloomfield-MI, Shabbat shalom, shavua tov, kol tov, raboty nivurech, G-d Bless you, living rooms without seforim, KBY, Hakotel, Shaalevim, Bravendures, achva, machach, Bill Clinton idolizers, Le Merais, fancy foods, pronouncing the suf like a tuf.
Black Hat:
Frummies, black hat, black velvet yarmulke, yeshiva guys, bais yaakov, single sex camps, separation of the sexes, very bright ties, black weekday sneaker type shoes, girls always in skirts, sheitles, woolen tzitzis, living room with cases to show of silver Judaic products and tons of seforim, English books confined to the little midrash says and chicken soup for the neshama, must have hilchos niddah set tucked under some old benchers on bottom shelf, shabbos snoods, pre-ripped toilet paper, peyos behind the ears, shidduch dating, kollel, pushy women with strollers, every man a beard, white beards= holy, Yiddish, herring, kichel, scoffing at modern, blue and fake wood paneled caprice wagons from the 80s, 15 seat vans with put the brakes on loshon harah stickers, not shayich, shaychis, hisorirus, musar shmuzim, separate seating concerts, siyum hashas, camps- mogen av, Sternberg, romimu, dora golding, morris, toras chaim tashbar, tubby, chedva, schools- chaim berlin, ner yisroel, chofetz chaim, Lakewood, torah vodath, things like seder and bein hazmanim which the modern only know about when frumming out in their year in Israel, mortgage brokers, used car salesman, Republicans, chop and nosh, big flieshigs, Boro- Park, Monsey, Lakewood, Toronto- in the south, Washington Heights- the bruers people.
I am sure many of you have instant thoughts that come to mind with the mention of these two categories- I will add whatever stereotypes you think of to the list.
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Modern:
Smiley faced yarmulkas, english names written on yarmulka, candle ceremony at bat mitzvahs, a real dvd/video holder near the tv, real white meat tuna fish.
Frummies:
bunkbeds, diet muffins (I don’t know why that came to mind), a real set of milchig dishes, matching dresses for all the kids, challah rolls for lunch, ricecakes and fake dark meat tuna.
MO: Chicks wearing flip-flops, jean skirts
Frummies: Station wagons, shteig,zach, a-vada, eating matza over a bag(just heard this one today from boss)
You’ve hit this out of the ballpark! It’s perfect!
Hi
Please consider writing news pieces or an op-ed for Jewrusalem: Israeli Uncensored News. We strive to present different views and opinions while rejecting political correctness. Ideally, we try to make the news “smart and funny.” Thus, your input is very welcome.
Best,
Alex
http://www.jewrusalem.net/en
Alex many call me anti-semitic. I definitely appreciate the offer and the compliment of being smart- hahah.
I’m sure the folks at Camp Stone and Mesorah are not too thrilled about being labeled as part of the Modern Orthodox “camp”
I would have to say you are probably the only person to say otherwise including those camps which undoubtedly label themselves as Modern Orthodox. Because frankly there is someting prety modern about having a bunch of guys and girls together especially if such things like shabbos walks and shorts on the girls are encouraged- wouldn’t you say.
I grew up in these camps- I agree with the shabbos walk concept- but the lack of tznius is another thing completely.
Tell me would you then put them in black hat labels?
Smart and funny?? HA! My aching tuchas!
to instantly gauge the yeshivishness of your shul– how much emphasis is put on taking the Sefer Torah out of the Aron?
If this part of davening is a 10 minute production, involving singing, the chazzan taking the Torah on a stroll through the shul including the women’s section, followed by the Rabbi and the president who shake hands with everyone and act like they are trying to get re-elected, your shul may be MO.
modern Orthodox: Orange flags, Israeli flags, Israel Day parade.
some haredim: yellow flags, Lag b’Omer Street fair.
i might not be so “frum” but if a lady wants to wear clothing that is not so “yeshivish” then its her problem. by you telling her that tight shirts or short skirts are a problem, it will only make her do it more.
It will not nec make her do it more. If the lady has some sense or maybe respect for the environment shes in she may want to change. Some people have no idea what is right and wrong- I am not saying that women should all wear robes and turbans- but muffin top inducing jeans are not attractive to us and they do not give the girl any respect.