Upon entering the main sanctuary I had no idea that they were davening, the chatter was so loud that I was reminded of eating out on Sunday nights at kosher Chinese restaurants and not being able to hear what anyone was saying over the insanity of a million conversations at once. But indeed not only were they, or shall I say, a few people davening amidst this loud “haven’t seen you all week” chatter, but they were in the middle of kabalas shabbos. I initially felt that due to the decibel level of conversation going on in the shull, the baal tefilah must have been doing chazaras hashas, a suitable time for folks to chat about mundane weekly matters and stare at the balcony full of makeup laden single women who were staring right back down. In the rear of the shull behind all the pews I did my mincha, and noticed that many people were standing around in back talking up a storm. I usually try to eavesdrop but due to the multiple conversations this was impossible and I actually had to daven.
I looked up at the beautiful dome of stained glass on the ceiling, I hadn’t remembered this shull as so ornate, the entire shull is a master work of art, such a shame to be wasted on folks who merely come to flirt and talk, I could almost imagine the beautiful davenings that took place here prior to the invasions of the singles. Throaty chazanas filling the huge chamber, praying to Hashem thanking him for such a large and massive shull with great acoustics. But now the singles were here to stay, pretty much forcing out any older members and reclaiming this beautiful building as their own. Disregarding the artwork for the ever present scene that takes place every Friday night after shull. Its known far and wide as the “place to be”, one shouldn’t miss it for the world. The well groomed professional Modern Orthodox Liberal flirting festival.
I had forced my unwilling brother into coming with me here foregoing the more spiritual davening of Carlebach, in order that I can reaffirm my belief that moving to the city in persuit of a wife is the most asinine thing a tree-hugger like myself can do. I also wanted to write about my Oheb Tzedek experience. I hadn’t davened at OZ in probably 10 years or so. It has changed a lot, it used to be all families, now its all singles.
It was interesting to see that the only time anyone actually asked for people to be quiet was at the very end when the Rabbi made the announcements. Even while the president spoke, I could see his lips, but all I heard was some conversation about multiple J-dates that one guy had that weekend. It amazing I could even hear that conversation.
I must say the leg room was commendable as was the angle of the pew, providing one with a comfortable davening position. I guess it may be a good thing that the mechitza is a balcony, preventing the Jewish Center syndrome in which everyone just stares like wild dogs at each other and the folks sitting next to the women have conversations with each other as if the seating were not separate. The presence of the balcony, does allow one to focus more on talking to God frather then staring at pritzus, but it also causes the scene at the end of davening to be extra climactic. Due to the fact that you couldn’t see the girls at all during the davening, it causes an extra raucous single mania out in front of the shull.
If you actually keep negia, this shull may not be the best place for you. Trying to maneuver through the crowd to the coat rack without the occasional tight squeeze through some lovely ladies is almost impossible. Kind of feel like a mosh pit if you ask me. I did notice that most of the congregants disregard the whole negia thing completely, hugging, kissing, and rubbing each others backs casually as if no halachos were being breached. Ah the bastion of Modern Orthodox Liberalism, it may be that all these folks touching each other were married and just not wearing shetiles- we should be dan lcav zchus.
It is a rather unfriendly shull as are most large ones in NYC. If you didn’t know anyone in shull and came there all the time I doubt you would meet anyone. In other shulls folks try and welcome people they see sitting alone or folks that are obviously new. Whatever, cant really expect anything with regards to this, though the YCQ basement shull rocks in this department as does the Bridge and Mt Sinai Shulls in Washington Heights.
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{ 11 comments… read them below or add one }
the YCQ basement shull rocks in this department
You are welcome back any time!
It’s easy to stand back and be judgmental thinking that you are different, that you are the only one who is sensitive, who notices the beauty of the ceiling of OZ or whatever. But the truth is, you probably are no different, these people go here every week, maybe the first time they went they too were taken aback by the architechture but everything gets old eventually. Even the sistine chapel. Anyway my point is, stop being so judgemental, not everyone can be spiritual whenever they want, and many of those people work very difficult work weeks and shabbos is the first time they get any down time. And who says carlebach is more spiritual? I find it even more distasteful of a davening then OZ. My point is, there are some legitimate criticisms one can apply to the UWS crowd, but criticizing vagaries like spirituality and art appreciation doesn’t really hold much sway in my book.
Well I guess you missed the whole point of the blog and the post then. The point of this blog is to expose the judgementalisms within the frum community for the stupidity that they are. If you would have taken the time to READ any of the other postings you would have realize that.
“Anyway my point is, stop being so judgemental, not everyone can be spiritual whenever they want, and many of those people work very difficult work weeks and shabbos is the first time they get any down time.”
Well if they want down time- they should save it for the lobbies of the Key West and the Westmont- You have just proved my point- shull is NOT place for random conversations- its a place to daven- if they come to shull to “chill” they are abusing the house of G-d. Why dont they go somewhere else instead of disturbing those who actually come to shull for its purpose.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT ITS OK TO COME TO SHULL FOR DOWN TIME?
Then I must say you are a true apikoras. If not my bad- oh and your response may be that I am too an apikoras- thats OK because I never said I was better. Though I do come to shull to talk to G-d within the presence of a minyan.
Ah whatever, just because the purpose of your blog is to point out “judgementalisms” in the frum community doesn’t mean you aren’t guilty of it in this entry, or in all of them. You have a clear tone of superiority that permeates your writing here.
Aside from that, no I’m not saying its okay to come to shul exclusively for downtime, you should come to shul to daven ideally, but as it turns out, we are all human and most people have multiple reasons for coming to shul. Most/All have in mind to daven, but also want to shmooze a little or have some kigel at the kiddush. There is nothing wrong with that, in an ideal world it wouldn’t be that way but we don’t live in an ideal world. You know how a frum shul differs from a reform shul? A reform shul is orderly like a church; everyone is silent and sitting in place. Orthodox shuls have children running around, people pacing about, shmoozing in the corner. I like that people feel comfortable in shuls and i don’t think this should be discouraged. If you can honestly say that you never shmoozed at shul or got excited about a kidish, then you either don’t goto minyan that often or you are a rare jew.
Aside from all this, I don’t think my saying its okay to come to shul for downtime even if I had said that would make me an actual apikores.
You happen to right I am the most SUPERIOR of all in my judgments. I am the master of judging people- so much so that my job entails that I make constant judgments of people. I never said I didnt judge- obviously I do- if I have upwards of 100 posts devoted to judging people- but I to like to make fun of people and do a great job.
I do look forward to your comments on other postings I have made concerning the UWS singles scene. How they hijacked my home town and made it all sucky.
Don’t get me wrong I love kiddushim at shull and staring over the mechitza at the hotties- but those are not nor will they ever be my reasons for coming to shull. If they are anyones reasons for coming to shull they are plain out wrong.
Yes I commend your ability to make fun of people. No sarcasm there, its just a thin line between making pointed useful criticisms of people and having an outsider sense of superiority over the people you are criticizing. Listen, I am no great fan of the UWS, but I am very wary of anyone who criticizes anybody else’s lack of spirituality kavana or whatever you want to call it. These are personal issues, between a person and God. Especially davening. Its one thing when a person is obviously eating treif or being mechalel shabbos, that is easy criticizable. But davening is such a personal and interior act, that nobody can judge why or what is going on when someone is seemingly davening. I know personally speaking that even though I daven all year long 3 times a day, maybe only like a couple of times a month or even less do I really feel like I’m “in the zone” if you know what I mean.
Anyway side point, I have never lived on the UWS and don’t know too much about it, but am pretty sure that its been a single scene longer then you’ve been alive.
“Anyway side point, I have never lived on the UWS and don’t know too much about it, but am pretty sure that its been a single scene longer then you’ve been alive.”
Obviously, if you would have read some of Hesh’s earlier posts, you would have realized that he had lived there as a youngster. So he is qualified to rule on this one.
You don’t know jack $%^^ about the UWS so go sit down and have some overnight Kugel and petcha.
It happens to be that the singles moved in during the late mid 90s around the same time that Starbucks and Barnes and Nobles moved in a made Broadway resemble route 4 in NJ. By moving in thy shifter the more popular areas of living from the Lincoln Square area towards the upper 90s which was just beginning to gentrify- up until 10 years ago- white folks did not really cross 96th street much unless they lived on West End or near Columbia.
OZ was a family shull- until the rude obnoxious singles who do not care whether they disturb someones davening or not. And this goes for the other shulls as well. There are numerous articles written on the scene- how Friday night at OZ and Shabbos day at JC are the places to be. If you look at any of those articles it basically says that everyone knows, dated, and talks about each other.
On a further note- I did not say whether their spiritual connection to God was off. It happens to be I am deeply offended if someone abuses Gods sanctuary to use it a as meeting place for less then tachlis minded folks. If they came davened- didnt talk the whole time- and then had the scene it would be one thing- go to the Mount Sinai shull in Washington heights and you will see folks who came to shull to actually daven- yet at the end of shull- AFTER davening the crowds form and a massive singles scene begins.
How I know what they came there for is not mine to judge- but based on evidence from pretty much everywhere I know they most probably didn’t- and that just plain old sucks. I am sure many did- but a majority and you should go see for yourself- could give two shits about davening .
Unfortunately I have been to OZ in the past and have hated it every time I attended; its not my personal taste in shuls. But to each their own. But I would still disagree with you that the majority could give two shits about davening.
I have attended Mount Sinai before as well and it is a different kind of crowd, different personality types seem to attend there, more nerdy and serious people and less superficial socialites(as in OZ) but again to each their own.
Either way I’m pretty sure that the UWS single scene developed before the mid 90s, though it might have been smaller in the past and not focused around OZ and the Jewish Center. I think it may have been based more around Lincoln center shul back then?
Either way for someone who is single, and is sick of being at the mercy of lunatic shadchans, the UWS/Washington Heights scenes seem to be the only options. If you know anything else please let me know!
You speak the truth my friend – I guess I happen to enjoy the supidity of shadcunim so much that I have written up to 5 page rants about them and their ways- (see the sidebar below the blogroll for quick links)
The only place I can recommend is the Basement Shull in CQ in kew gardens. I did in fact write about it and got good response. In was the only shull I have ever been to that had a welcoming committee that came up to me and my friend because they realized we didn’t know anyone. That not only made me feel amazing- but I got to meet non-shallo and interesting singles- the scene is quite small and mostly folks who never resorted to moving to the fast paced shallow UWS- and there are way more women then men. Mostly my senior- but nevertheless it is the thought that counts- they also had the most amazing kiddush ever and the davening doesnt take forever and no one talks- besides the Rabbi.
Ah someone who thinks like, so true.