It looks like a normal boxspring, but if you secretly replace your sworn enemy’s queen boxspring with this one, revenge will be assured! The incessant squeaking of this sturdy foundation will torment your hated victim through the night! With every toss and turn, the grating of metal on metal will penetrate the subconscious, conjuring dreams of fingernails on blackboards, trains careening off tracks, dentist drills and other unimaginable horrors! Oh, the sweet revenge you will reap when your mother-in-law/boss/ex-lover enters the light of day with a tortured, haunted visage! No sleep! No happy dreams! Night after sleepless night, your evil plan will mature, slowly driving the hated one insane!!! (insert evil laugh here).
(Warning: Not recommended for roommates or others within close proximity to your own sleeping area).
3 responses so far ↓
1 // Feb 21, 2007 at 10:46 pm
ahhh i love this post! great descriptive power, i cackle with an evil grin on my face… excellent (as Jafar from Alladin would say…if you do not get this reference puh-lease watch the movie).
2 // Feb 22, 2007 at 8:47 am
Hysterical, Bravo this should be printed in the Jewish Press lol.
3 CHNYOCK // Mar 6, 2008 at 1:45 pm
where can i get one?
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