Before the internet there was porn, phone sex, strip clubs, prostitutes, swinger bars, raves, etc..Actually all these things still exist and unfortunately are actively used by people in frum communities. The internet has brought the prostitute and porn star into the homes of millions of poeple, I understand this. Why am I writing this?
I sit not better for a man or women to search for materials top fill their sexual desire on the internet, rather than on the street or in the club? Looking at dirty websites must be a bit better for someone then actually doing the act? Everyone is horny and has desire even “gasp” frum people. Many of them choose not to act on this and live their lives as fully observant Jews, but many frum folks – I know because of the search terms used to get here – do seek out illicit materials on the internet.
I would venture to say that internet actually is better if used for porn and other materials since they are merely looking rather than actually doing the act?
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{ 2 comments… read them below or add one }
The problem is that for some people pornography is like any other addiction – it becomes more attractive with more availability. You don’t have to be an anti-porn activist to know that a person who would not go out into a club may be quite willing to look at Internet porn because (a) the costs and dangers are far less and (b) the ability to evade detection is higher. Everyone has desires, even frum people – but the point of insular communities is that the costs for satiating those desires is made so high that they are repressed. Now, it could be that repression is normatively, psychologically, or socially bad – but to have that discussion realistically, we have to admit that there have been plenty of communities for thousands of years in which porn was not readily available and yet people still did not stoop to seeking sexual solace in “the street or in the club”. Maybe porn is just fine for all the reasons usually given in this debate – helps in sexual awareness, makes sex less awkward and more intimate, etc – but ‘people will do it anyway’ is just not compelling.
Great website – great posts!
The only problem I face with porn- is that porn can “save you” from prostitutes and other types of live indulgences, but after a while it gets stale, and then a prostitute is only a click away. Once you are on the net and looking – its all there! But I’d certainly rather struggle with my desire for porn than with prostitutes and strip clubs.