I think that for some people, taking the traditional yeshiva route of looking at Biblical figures is fine. Basically, the people in the Torah are perfect people we have no concept of who do no wrong. Even the bad guys, like Esav, Yerovom, etc. are operating on such high levels that their sins are incomprehensible. To the rest of us, it’s impossible to keep looking at them in such a way. We can’t just write them off as perfect one dimensional people. We’ve been ingrained to look at them as role models for our own lives and as such we measure ourselves against them. If we grow up and haven’t found what we’re looking for in the simplistic retelling of the stories, we feel a sense of unease because it’s ingrained at such a deep level. Maybe we were told that these are good people, and as kids who’ve just begun to think in those terms, we connected to them in the purest way possible. [click to continue…]
How come when you get to Pesach, suddenly you find these weird things you thought disappeared 10 years ago from 1st world countries? Sanka for $5 at Brachs, sugar free Gefen Jelly with an aspartame aftertaste you can smell before you even take any out. We drop ship better food to Liberia.
Hey look, I made relatable jokes about Pesach. See? I do fit in. Now back to watching dirty stuff on my phone alone in my apartment. Actually, I can’t, it’s too depressing. Marvel Contest of CHAMPIONS? [click to continue…]
Erev Pesach is not a time for satire or jokes. We can spend all year debating whether the ancient Hebrews really built the pyramids or whether they were in Egypt altogether; but on Erev Pesach we put all that aside to focus on achdus in Klal Yisroel, burning the chometz, giving the rabbi his annual tip, and double parking to wait in line outside the keilim mikvah along with all the other 45 year-olds making Pesach for the first time.
So in honor of this Erev Pesach I urge you take a minute to get some chizzuk from Rav Zalendger Shlita from the Gdi Oish show.
Readers of Frum Satire are obviously connoisseurs of fine Jewish reading material, and we don’t serve you many book reviews because we know we can hardly make any worthwhile suggestions that will pass your discriminating criteria. But once in awhile we become aware of a book we feel will both increase your avodas hashem while simultaneously giving you a bunch of chassidim to laugh at, OTD folks to gawk at and enough villains to give you something to else argue about at the next yom tov meal when the family is together and you’ve exhausted the Israeli/Palestinian/Obama debate and no one wants to talk to each other anymore. [click to continue…]
We received our first invitation to a seder just before purim, normally I say yes, excited that someone actually wanted me at their seder and not the last minute desperate attempt to latch onto everyone’s already booked seders. However, this year is different, I recalled some expletive filled rant that I went on last year that went along the lines of “I’m hosting my own damned seder next year, enough of this 3 hour ma nishtana bullshit” or the likes of that. [click to continue…]
After Yanky and Shloime had fasted for 12 hours, put the half-shekel in the pushka, davened mincha, took a nap so they would have energy to dance all night, ran to the liquor store before it closed so they can get wasted, and pulled out the torn jeans they’d bought at the thrift store Shloime felt ready for the happiness that would envelop him that night. [click to continue…]
When you live in the frum community it always seems like there’s this great partisan divide between us and them. Us being the frum and them being the not frum, but what’s even more interesting to me is the divide between those within the ever expanding orthodox community. Tonight, I saw something that was a little shocking and I just want to prepare you for it. I was davening in an open orthodox shul, very liberal one might say. I’m not just judging by the ridiculously low and virtually non-existent mechitza. [click to continue…]