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Purim Depression

Is It Purim Yet? UnpiousAfter Yanky and Shloime had fasted for 12 hours, put the half-shekel in the pushka, davened mincha, took a nap so they would have energy to dance all night, ran to the liquor store before it closed so they can get wasted, and pulled out the torn jeans they’d bought at the thrift store Shloime felt ready for the happiness that would envelop him that night. [click to continue…]

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digitaly looking throuigh the mechitza When you live in the frum community it always seems like there’s this great partisan divide between us and them. Us being the frum and them being the not frum, but what’s even more interesting to me is the divide between those within the ever expanding orthodox community. Tonight, I saw something that was a little shocking and I just want to prepare you for it. I was davening in an open orthodox shul, very liberal one might say. I’m not just judging by the ridiculously low and virtually non-existent mechitza. [click to continue…]

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Married people get lonely too

diarrhea manis friedmanEver since my boss/rebbe/only real friend besides my wife moved to New York last month there’s been an insatiable void in my life. Instead of talking shit all day and being yelled at for doing stupid shit, my job requires me to take on the roll of yelling at other people all day for doing stupid shit. However, there is no more kitchen bullshitting due to language barriers and not being around cynical FFB’s anymore. It just hit me two weeks ago, when for the first time in a few years I’ve had actual free time to do something at night. Normally my free daytime time is taken up with outdoor activities, but what am I supposed to do at night. [click to continue…]

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Random guests can ruin your shabbos

hosting shabbos guestsWhen I used to be employed as a professional shabbos guest I never realized why people were so happy see me. I was brash, smelled terribly, and was always making some sort of comment that offended the wife, yet I was invited to take part in random shabbos meals, rummage around people’s fridges and liquor cabinets in the wee hours of the morning and take monster post cholent dumps in their bathrooms. It wasn’t like these people were my relatives that were forced to take me in, they were random families that may have responded to an email I had sent the shul or a facebook post on someone elses wall. [click to continue…]

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On The Orthodox Sex Guru

Jewish Sex Ed

Jewish Sex Ed

The New York Times Magazine just published a story about Bat Sheva Marcus, a Modern Orthodox sex counselor whose practice has become a go-to address for young hasidic women who suffer from not being interested in having sex with their basherte. You can see the whole story here.

The story is basically a very sad one about women who only just heard about their clitoris after giving birth to their third baby, about lists of barely-erotic ideas that the sex counselor makes for the patients to take back to their rav for approval and of those ravs not giving approval to any of the ideas – including kissing with the lights on, let alone to using a vibrator, chass v’sholom. [click to continue…]

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Sexy Menorah Needs a Home

Chelsea Market sexy menorahThis incredible menorah was commissioned for the Chelsea Market for Christmas and Hanukka and was designed with Hanky Panky Underwear and with their donated scraps of lace.

The maker of this sexy menorah is looking to sell it, and barring that, a temporary home would be appreciated as well. If your office is in need of some new decoration, feel free to get in touch with me (shragigetzel @ gmail com) and I’ll put you in touch with her.

Each leg has it's own light switch in a hidden panel on the gold mirrored base (base measures 9x1x2.6)

Each leg has it’s own light switch in a hidden panel on the gold mirrored base (base measures 9x1x2.6)

 

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How not to get stuff removed from a website

retardDisclaimer: I felt this issue was important enough of a mussar lesson to come out of retirement briefly. As you surely know, most people don’t realize I’m in retirement, there are still several thousand folks actually reading the drivel I wrote throughout the years and I still like to read my fan mail and pretend like I’m some famous blogger still. Anyways, I received a very angry email the other day from the creator of Halachipedia.com and I felt that he could use some advice and mussar, because he demonstrated clearly that he only cares about halacha and not about that whole “being a nice person” type of stuff. I know the halacha doesn’t clearly state that you don’t have to be a schmuck, but no one, not even Hashem – likes assholes. [click to continue…]

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