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Frum Satire Conference 2015

stop_frum_satireFrum Satire is in crisis.

Eleven months ago I wrote a post called The Fable of the Rabbi Who Finally Made It and I immediately got an email from Heshy asking me to take it down. A rabbi from Cleveland recognized that it was talking about a fellow rabbi or two from his community. He recognized it, obviously, because it described his fellow rabbi accurately, but rabbis don’t always like accuracy when it reveals problems that are supposed to remain hidden. So he wrote to Heshy reminding him of the cholent he’d fed him on a trip to Cleveland years ago and asked him to take down the post. [click to continue…]

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KosherSwitch fight gets slightly Interesting


I know literally zero about this guy except that he’s a Sephardi Kiruv rabbi of some sort who’s popular on Facebook for being a major hardliner, but he’s willing to stand up for one small person getting pummeled now.

Let’s see how long he lasts.

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A. Harry Wiener a”h

unnamed

Ner Israel Rabbinical College students in Baltimore wish to express their deepest condolences on this yahrtzeit of Arka ben Leib, a man who led a very difficult life and holds a special place in their heart. Anyone wishing to pay their respects can go to the main Bais Medrash on 400 Mt. Wilson Lane for coffee and batallah any time of the day.

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Why People Go OTD

With the recent release of the mega-hit of the OTD world –  Shulem Deen’s memoir “All Who Go Do Not Return“, the age-old question has come up again: why do people go OTD?

Our rebbeim tell us, and we are inclined to agree, that normal, healthy, well adjusted individuals on a level playing field would always choose to remain frum, no question about it; frumkeit just makes so much more sense on all levels, and in addition is the only truth. No question about it. We know that people only go OTD because: a) they’ve been molested b) their parents are divorced c) they didn’t read Akiva Tatz in time, and d) their ta’aveh to eat at McDonald’s is just too strong for them control.

But we know that our small minds can’t understand everything, we were taught that we have to ask the gedolim, or at least local da’as torah. So we hired the research firm of Zwiebel Dessler and Shafran LP to conduct a poll for us. We told them the community wanted facts, no more conjecture and hyperbole, we need to show our frum brethren how screwed up they have to be to go OTD, and we have to discredit Shulem Deen and all his friends with hard numbers, the very thing they claim to believe in.

 About the Survey

A nationally representative sample of frum Jews were chosen from the Upper West Side, Borough Park, Flatbush, Lakewood, Monsey, Cleveland, Detroit, Chicago, Milwaukee, Denver, Louisville, LA and San Diego (no one in the Five Towns was willing to participate, we believe this is due to the zechus and strong influence of Rabbi Yair Hoffman). 10,000 screening interviews were conducted and 963 longer interviews were completed with candidates who identified as OTD.

Although the firm of Zwiebel Dessler and Shafran LP was careful to select only OTD folks, it emerged that interviewees were actually still frum, they only identified as OTD secretly. It would seem that because of this peculiarity no one answered any of the prepared questions, opting instead to answer a question of their own in the small space reserved for comments at the bottom.

Survey Results

The question respondents seemed to be answering was “why do you remain frum?”

Why People Remain Frum

Why do you remain frum?

 

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Yoshev Ohel- Sitter of Tents

Studying-TorahI think that for some people, taking the traditional yeshiva route of looking at Biblical figures is fine. Basically, the people in the Torah are perfect people we have no concept of who do no wrong. Even the bad guys, like Esav, Yerovom, etc. are operating on such high levels that their sins are incomprehensible. To the rest of us, it’s impossible to keep looking at them in such a way. We can’t just write them off as perfect one dimensional people. We’ve been ingrained to look at them as role models for our own lives and as such we measure ourselves against them. If we grow up and haven’t found what we’re looking for in the simplistic retelling of the stories, we feel a sense of unease because it’s ingrained at such a deep level. Maybe we were told that these are good people, and as kids who’ve just begun to think in those terms, we connected to them in the purest way possible. [click to continue…]

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Pesach!

pesach-passover-2How come when you get to Pesach, suddenly you find these weird things you thought disappeared 10 years ago from 1st world countries? Sanka for $5 at Brachs, sugar free Gefen Jelly with an aspartame aftertaste you can smell before you even take any out. We drop ship better food to Liberia.

Hey look, I made relatable jokes about Pesach. See? I do fit in. Now back to watching dirty stuff on my phone alone in my apartment. Actually, I can’t, it’s too depressing. Marvel Contest of CHAMPIONS? [click to continue…]

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Chizzuk from Gdi Oish

burning the chametzErev Pesach is not a time for satire or jokes. We can spend all year debating whether the ancient Hebrews really built the pyramids or whether they were in Egypt altogether; but on Erev Pesach we put all that aside to focus on achdus in Klal Yisroel, burning the chometz, giving the rabbi his annual tip, and double parking to wait in line outside the keilim mikvah along with all the other 45 year-olds making Pesach for the first time.

So in honor of this Erev Pesach I urge you take a minute to get some chizzuk from Rav Zalendger Shlita from the Gdi Oish show.

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